Three Little Words
by Gemmadog
Summary: Nearly six years since Molly and Charles went their separate ways, this story looks at the new life Molly now has.
1. Chapter 1

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 1**

As soon as Molly woke she wished she hadn't!

Almost every muscle and joint in her body ached. Nearly 31 years old and she felt like an old woman. Battered and bruised. She laughed. What did she expect? That's what

happens when you play at being soldiers. She had just spent three weeks camping out on final cadet training, sleeping in fields and make shift tents with the other cadets in

the middle of some English wilderness, all to impress the instructors.

It had been worth it though. It was the final assessment, one step closer to graduation from Officer Training at Sandhurst. This time next week she will have hopefully passed

out, graduated, and finally become an officer in the British Army. Known as 2nd Lieutenant Dawes! Who would have believed it of gobby Molly Dawes, a Rupert?

She slowly stretched and tested every muscle, assessing which ones hurt the most.

"All of them" she concluded out loud.

She knew she would have to get up soon, but gave herself another few minutes of luxury in the clean sheets and soft mattress. As she lay there alone in her big bed she

started to reflect on the past years of her life. Her time in the Army had been…interesting! Never had she ever considered, when she first joined up that her journey would be

so personal, emotional, and most definitely complex.

Being a private had suited her, letting others take the lead, making the decisions..…that was until her first tour and Charles. He pushed and more importantly believed in

knew she would be brilliant, and encouraged her to go for promotion. Lance Corporal came within the first years of their relationship, and Molly rose to the challenges

the new role gave her.

Further promotion however didn't come as easy, and it wasn't something that she wanted to pursue. Newly married to Charles her new confidence and life with Charles was

perfect. Molly always said that she never did perfect, but even she had to admit, for the first few years with Charles, it was. They were both managing their careers in the

Army, enjoying life and learning about each other. Tours for Molly were always short and not too frequent, and initially while

Charles attended rehab, he was not going on active tours. So for the early years of their marriage they were lucky, they were together. Most mornings they woke up to one

another, and most nights they went to bed wrapped in each other's arms. Not many Army marriages could boast that. On the outside and in the beginning Molly and Charles'

marriage was always considered as something to envy, a fairy-tale. In fact both Molly and Charles often felt smug in their relationship, because to each other they were each

other's worlds, and life couldn't get better.

Sam was always a huge part in both Molly and Charles' life, in fact both their families were. Molly and Sam, were mates, co-conspirators, and had a common purpose that

they both loved Charles with all their hearts. The frequent weekends, and holidays the three of them shared were always full of love, fun and, if you ever asked Charles who

always felt the victim, a lot of teasing.

As she snuggled further down into her bed, she was happy that Sam had grown up over the years into a truly wonderful young man. About to go off to university in the

autumn, and hoping to following the family tradition of officer training eventually. She was lucky to have such a good relationship with this funny individual who she took an

instant like to the first time she saw him in Charles' hospital room. She felt proud that she had helped shape him in to the young man he had become.

She often wondered, especially at this time of the year when anniversaries were looming, if she had known then just how things were to turn out, would she have taken the

same path that had led her to this stage in her life? The answer was always yes, despite the hurt.

Her and Charles had often talked of kids, of their future, her continuing role in the Army, but they never came to any final decisions about any of it. Both preferring for now,

while she was still young to enjoy the early days of their marriage and social life, besides they both thought they would have plenty of time together before starting to think

about having children together. Molly snorted at that cruel though….How wrong they had both been!

Promotion to Corporal, and the subsequent degree course that the Army put her through was hard. Bloody hard. The hardest Molly had ever had to work at something. It

became all consuming, and because of that she did it mainly on her own, with little or no support from Charles. By this time he was back on longer tours, and it was during

his times at home she started to feel a change in their little bubble of happy married life. Charles was always wrapped up in some Army issue. Molly was 100% focused on

her degree. To Molly failing was never going to be an option. The Army had faith in her to be brilliant, just like Charles had in the beginning, and she was going to keep

proving to others, who doubted her, that Charles was right, she could be brilliant.

She worked hard. By the end of their third year of marriage Molly was pushing herself professionally, and academically, desperate to achieve. Not only to achieve though she

realised, but desperate also to fill in the more frequent absences of Charles, who was now very much fully fit and back on any exercise or tours offered his way. More and

more frequently she woke up to an empty bed, and came home to an empty house.

Molly felt hurt. She knew Charles had seen a lot over his years, had personally had gone through a lot, especially in those early days of their relationship. Every day, each

week, every month she could she him starting little by little withdrawing into himself. Holding on to his fears, doubts and uncertainties. Slow shutting Molly out, but they

continued on together. Not as tight or as perfect as before, but at least still together. They continued that was until Elvis died.

Elvis…..Molly's husband Charles best friend.

Elvis….Molly's piss taking and trouble making buddy.

Elvis…..Molly's best mate Georgie, fiancé.

The world was an emptier sadder place without their Elvis in it. Initially the three of them were united in grief, until that grief, for Charles became guilt. Then his need to

blame himself for all the events that lead to Elvis' death, turned him away from Molly and their love and into the arms of his other love….the Army.

Instead of staying at home and talking to her, seeking help, accepting his state of mind he ran. Ran into tour after tour, believing he could make right the wrongs he felt he

had caused, by getting back out there with his section he could help make a difference again, make him feel less pain. But it didn't and ultimately his running lead him into

the arms, and bed, of another. Georgie!

Believing that that is what Elvis would have wanted for her, Georgie who was broken, vulnerable, lost, to be looked after by him Charles. Charles who could be the only one

who would be able to ease her pain. While Molly, who he always saw as strong, not wasn't consumed by Elvis' loss, on a new career path, did not need him, and being with

her would not appease that guilt of him losing his best friend or Georgie her fiancé.

So ultimately, the army couple that everyone always envied, rooted for, and held up as an example of how love should be, ended. Ended in betrayal, heart ache, and the loss

of the fairy-tale others had invested so heavily in. It hurt.

"And that", she mumbled to herself, "is enough".

Going through the sad times wasn't something she often did. It had hurt her, but it did not break her. Molly had dusted herself down and continued on living. As time went by

she started to believe in herself again, rebuilt that trust and love again, and found a new confidence in her abilities.

Spurred on by family and friends, old and new, who also thought she could be brilliant. And that is how she ended up where she was today. A physically exhausted Officer

Cadet lying lonely in her home, contemplating the free weekend ahead of her and the emotions that she knew she would need to control for all involved. For the friends and

family she would meet, some she hadn't seen for years, she needed to be strong. She needed to be their Girl again. Their Dawsey. The one they all turned to and in the

main, as old habits die hard, they still did.

The friendships she had made on her first tour were still some of the most solid and important ones in her life. They had grown and developed into something incredibly

precious to her. Along the way she had made other friendships equally as special to her, and it was partly due to these amazingly supportive friends that saw her where she

was today, about to graduate.

They all had supported her and pushed her, sometime bullied her, knowing she had so much more to give. When she initially applied for Officer training she held out no great

hopes of being accepted. It was a dream, maybe her dream, but also the dream that others who loved her felt she could achieve. When she was accepted after lots and lots

of test and interviews, she again doubted if she could do it. Once more it was her friends, and her wonderful families, that pushed her to understand her potential. After

weeks of heartache and self-doubt, spurred on by the ones who knew her intimately and loved her the most, she agreed.

It was a vivid memory burned into her brain, one that would never be forgotten. The image of that day, Molly hugging the son who had just lost his beloved father, the

mother who had just lost her son, looking at her, Molly, the girl who was always told she could be brilliant, accepting a new challenge to prove to her dead husband that

that's exactly what she was going to try to be…. Brilliant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 2**

Molly walked down the stairs slowly. Aware of each and every muscle it took do this simplest of tasks.

"Bloody hell. You're getting old. Elvis was right…this ain't no job for old men." She muttered then laughed at the joke her friend had once made at Charles' expense.

She contemplated just sitting down on the bottom stair, not sure she had the energy to go into the kitchen, which would ultimately be the beginning of a long weekend of memories. Some good and some in the main sad ones about all the departed loved ones over the years.

Friendship were a vital part of the soldier's armour, vital to know someone had your back, you had their's. It was never just about looking after yourself. Everyone looked out for everyone else. That's why it was always so hard when you lost someone, they had become part of you, you had become part of them, and suddenly they were gone.

It was the smell of bacon cooking that eventually pushed her to enter the kitchen, a smile instantly spreading across her face. Brains stood at the sink, filling the kettle for her brew.

"Morning cadet" he grinned at her when he heard her enter. "I didn't hear you come in last night. Late back were you? You look bloody awful by the way." He teased as he took in her bruised arms and legs popping out from her shorts and vest top.

"Always the smooth talker there, eh Brains." Molly replied while giving him a hug.

He returned the hug gladly, then held her away by the arms to get a good look at her.

"Shit Mols you're might gonna need some serious make up to cover up those eye bags. Did you get any sleep?

"Nah, not much" she replied, yawning and waiting for the kettle to boil.

"So how was it? Just as shit as it always is?" he asked moving her to sit down and pushing a bacon sandwich in her way.

"Yep, you know what it's like. Cold wet, fucking hard work. Shit food. Proper character building apparently! I am sooo hungry"

Brains grinned as he watch Molly almost hoovered up her food.

"You would have thought" Molly muttered through a mouth full of bacon, "That after all this time they would 'ave made it a bit more fun".

Brains burst out laughing at this, only his dear Molly could expect the British Army to make the Officer Training fun. He had completed his Officer training nearly five years ago. Something he was so proud of. He too was encouraged to go for it like Molly. Captain James had spotted something in him all those years ago, and like Molly having someone believe in you made him aim above and beyond his expected career pathway.

"So Poppy missed you when you were gone. She cried every night you were away."

Molly looked at him suspiciously while making her tea. Poppy was their Labrador dog, they bought her together and she was like their baby.

"Mmmmmm", she said. "Poppy missed me or you missed me as you had to walk her every day? I know you Brains. You're trying to butter me up"

Right on cue the dog came bounding into the kitchen delighted to see Molly. She was just as delighted and gave in.

"All right. I'll walk her. Let me just drink my tea then I'll take her out".

"Great. That means I can go and have my shower and get some kit sorted for next week. We'll leave at 11. Yeah?"

With that he ran up the stairs to grab the first of the hot water. Molly, left alone in the kitchen again looked around. He'd kept it spotlessly clean while she had been away, and she knew as soon as he was out the shower he would be putting her kit into wash and sorting out their travel plans for the weekend. She often wondered how she got so lucky.

When she first met 2 section she had no idea how important and life changing some of them would mean to her. Not just Charles and Smurf, but Brains too. They had always kept in touch throughout her marriage. Always involved her in the reunions and sadder events. They liked her for being their girl Molly, and they liked her for being their esteemed Captain James' wife. Although she was not able to serve with them anymore, she was always seen as a member of 2 section whenever possible. She was the little sister they never had, the shoulder to cry on when their lives were shit, the oracle they turned to for dating advice. She was their Molly.

So it wasn't just her who Charles and Georgie hurt when they hooked up together. They hurt them too. Through their actions they broke up the team, and sadly they lost a lot of respect for a Captain who seemed to chase after his medics. But it was Brains who had been her true friend. It was Brains who'd come to her and told her what had happened. It was Brains who held her and allowed her to cry and shout, and demand why, the day she lost Charles.

As soon as they returned home from tour Molly knew something was up. She thought Charles had needed to stay at barracks for an extra night before he could come home. To be truthful their home wasn't their home any more. Molly had started the process of moving her stuff into boxes just in case Charles really did want to give up on the marriage that was slowly destroying her. It was Brains who turned up at the front door, and straight away she knew. Charles, her Charles, the one who believed in her, the one who said he would always be there for her…..was gone.

Brains had seen Georgie one morning doing the walk of shame from Captain James' quarters, that and the looks they were giving one another Brains just knew. Though Brains called it the walk of shame Molly never knew or would never know if that's how Georgie saw it. Molly never spoke to her from that day forward; never saw her again and purposely avoided all conversations that may of had them in. Her friends, who knew the history respected that, respected that she didn't want to hear about her best mate who shagged her husband, on tour.

Brains offered her the comfort and over the years, had become her number one fella to depend upon. When he left 2 section, partly to start his Officer Training and partly out of disgust at Charles, they kept up the close friendship. Molly just loved that boy.

He's simply was her best mate.

So when she needed someone to turn to this last time again he was there, he needed somewhere to live, and Molly had a big house and so he moved in, that was over year ago now.

Poppy barked and drew Molly out of her thoughts.

"Christ Mols you're getting proper maudlin today" she complained to herself. Giving herself yet another mental pep talk she sighed, the dog needed walking and she definitely need to get her day started.


	3. Chapter 3

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 3**

The drive down to Newport was one they did every year, without fail. The original members of 2 section always made it too. All except Charles. It was over 5 years ago that Charles checked out of his marriage to Molly, and to a degree his relationship with his men. Never to be looked up to by them in quite the same way. Wondering if their Captain could be such as shit to his wife, the woman on every occasion possible used to state his love for her, what else was he capable of.

After that last tour where he most definitely didn't "wait out" with Lane, several of his section requested transfers. They would have taken them too, but Charles himself apparently realised he'd over stepped the rules of common decency and went on long term sick. A replacement Captain was found and Georgie was transferred to somewhere. Hell for all Molly cared and knew! Charles however, Molly heard, eventually came back to the Army, and was still alive and well at the BATUS in Canada.

Charles living in Canada all these years was actually a blessing to Molly. She knew she was safe, and wouldn't therefore just meet him in some random corridor somewhere. They wouldn't be thrown together on some random training exercise, bump into each other at Barracks. It also meant that Molly was still able to keep in touch with his parents. Ruth and Peter had become very dear to her during her short married life, and even more so in the past 5-6 years since it all went "Pete Tong", as Elvis used to say. It was sad for Sam though as he lost contact with his Dad for a while, but reading around the lines Sam now seemed to have a better and regular relationship with his dad. Again she never asked and was never told.

She saw Sam initially regularly, but as his studies and his social life got more complicated their contact now mainly consisted of texts and hers being a place to crash at every month or so. She didn't mind, she felt incredibly lucky that after that all went on Sam still wanted some type of relationship with her, and that Rebeca let it happen. Molly would always be grateful also for the love and compassion Sam had shown to Tom in the role of pseudo big brother when his dad died.

Tom was Chris', now 11 year old son, that Molly had legal guardianship for. Chris had been Molly's second husband, who died over a year ago, after less than 18 months of marriage.

She had known Chris through Marie, who was a CMT going through her Lance Corporal training too. They hit it off immediately, both feisty, talkative, brave and both married to Captains. Marie's Captain though belonged to the Canadian army and was over on a long term secondment. The four of them, the two female CMTs and the two Captains had many a good night out, and more importantly had fun. However as Charles stared to get back into operational exercises and tours, the four became three.

Molly became great friends with them both, and it was to them she immediately turned to after Brains had to reluctantly leave her to return to his own life. They were wonderful. Enraged, sympathetic, concerned, caring, disgusted, all on the right level and helped Molly in her darkest days. It would have been about 6 months after Charles had moved on to his second medic, that Marie was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Molly just wanted to fall apart, again, but knew she couldn't. She needed to be strong for Marie, for Chris, and most importantly for their 6 year old son Tom, who was going to have to face life without a mummy.

The following 6 months that ensued were hard and destructive to Marie's body, and eventually almost one year to the day that Charles had shagged Lane, Marie died.

Everyone was heartbroken. Molly knew only too well how heartbroken Chris was, and how it felt to lose your best friend. She had been there before with Smurf, and to some degree when Charles left. Molly tried her hardest to support them through their dark times, having moved in towards the end of Marie's life, it just seemed sensible that she continued to live with Marie's boys to continue that support they both needed.

Chris was heartbroken with his wife's death, but struggled on for the sake of Tom who was very low and withdrawn, and Molly worried what to do. It was actually Charles' mum who suggested that Sam may be a good help to Tom, and how right she was. Having no immediate relatives in the UK, Tom was desperate for some type of family dynamics. Ruth and Peter, became surrogate grandparents, as did Molly's own parents, and Sam became a very wise big brother.

As Tom started to flourish and the smile return to his little face on some days, Molly notice that Chris seemed to deteriorate every day. Tests were done, and the unfairness of the world once again came crashing down on Molly, when Chris was too diagnosed with cancer. Initially there was talk of cures, then remission but as time went on the ravages of the disease became obvious and Chris was too titled as terminal.

Now the burning issue was what was to become of this wonderful boy called Tom. Coming up to 9 years old and soon to be without both parents. Molly stepped up, as only our girl could. She agreed to marry Chris to ensure legal guardianship of Tom and the continuity of the life he had in the U.K. with the people he had knew best.

Chris agreed, and so weeks later he and Molly married in a small chapel in Aldershot surrounded by a few friends and family. Chris felt it greatly that this amazing woman who was helping to heal his and his sons hearts, whom he loved on the very purest of levels was becoming his wife, only because his life was to be cut short. Who knew, that in time, something he didn't have, maybe their love for each other and their memories could have blossomed into the perfect antidote for both their broken hearts.

So less than 18 months later Molly found herself saying goodbye forever, yet again to another true friend. Chris' Canadian comrades were excellent in the support and admiration they had for Molly. They helped in every conceivable way. Tom chose to go to local day boarding school and came home at weekends. This meant Molly could still stay in the Army, but she was lonely. And so it was Brains who turned up one night with Dairy Milk and beer, a big shoulder to cry on that helped Molly carry on. She depended on him so much; he just never left and now shared with her the large home that used to belong to Chris and Marie.

"God Molly are you dying or something? I've never known you to be this quiet ever." Brains asked with mock concern as he drove them closer and closer to Newport to meet up with the rest of the lads.

"Ha ha very funny. Nah I'm just thinking about Marie, an Chris…..and I guess Smurf too"

"Yeah, I give you that." Said Brains." Can't believe it's been 10 years since we lost Smurf. Today is going to be hard for Candy"

"Gonna be hard for us all too." Sighed Molly, her one consolation was that since she split with Charles he had never turned up to one of these reunions.

"So where's Tom this weekend then?" Brains tried to change the subject as he saw Molly's eyes get wet.

"School residential. I won't see him now till next weekend. Then he's away again but will be home in time for my graduation ceremony, if I pass." She added.

"Course you're gonna pass. When are they letting you know? Today, tomorrow?"

"Sometime today they said. They knew about my standing commitment to see Smurf's grave and his Mum, so they'll call me. I'm shitting me self Brains. What if I haven't been good enough?"

"Hell Molly of course you'll pass. You've excelled in everything you've done…well apart from map reading…you were a bit crap on that exercise I believe."

"Well Medics follow, they don't need to lead…that's my excuse." She laughed out.

"You'll be fine, you know that don't you, in more ways than one." Brains said. "You've a heart of gold there Molly Dawes, and if anyone deserve some good luck in their life it bloody well is you. These past years haven't been easy for you. Things can only get better."

"Christ Brains, you sound like a fucking Agony Aunt, not an officer in the British Army. You've been helping yourself to some of my lady's vitamins or something?" Then she added as she saw a flash of upset cross his face. "Thanks though, you are a mate in a million you know. I'm lucky to have you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 4**

Brains and Molly arrived outside the church grave yard in plenty of time. Years of military training teaching them getting there early and getting there on time saves a lot of hassle.

"Here we are again" breathed Molly. "Another year gone without that Welsh wanker to annoy me. I still miss him."

"I know the route here almost in my sleep now. Done it too many times." Brains joked. "Which is just about a good thing as you can get, cause we all know what would happen if we depended on you to read a map to get us here."

Molly didn't reply, she was just turning her phone over and over in her hands, and chewing on her lip. Looking so troubled.

"Hey" Brains said quietly. "It will be ok; they'll call with good news. You'll have passed."

He didn't want to push it. Now was not the right time, today was about meeting their mates, and remembering those that would always be mates but were no longer with us. Suddenly before the atmosphere in the car could get awkward, Molly and Brains saw a mini bus pull up and the lads from the original 2 section started to pour out. There were lots of hugs and kisses. Lots of piss taking and lots of outpouring of true friendship and comradeship. Molly felt calm and safe. These were her people. Here to celebrate their friendship with Smurf. Smurf who they thought Molly was in love with, and accepted it when they were told just how wrong they had been. No questions asked just true blind loyalty.

"Oh my God. Molly Dawes….you look bleeding awful." Squealed Jacki. Although she was not a true original member of 2 section she had worked with them, knew Smurf as well as his dead brother Geraint. So she kind of had honorary membership to this unusual annual club. That, and the fact, that since that tour her and Dangles had very much been an item. Loves young dream. An Army relationship that hadn't turned to shit. Just got stronger. There were no wedding bells or babies in the offing. Just two souls who loved each other and wanted each other in their lives. Simple perfect love.

"Thanks a bunch. I've been away on a training exercise. Only got back last night. Still a bit knackered. I'll scrub up better for tonight."

"I should hope so" Shouted Fingers. "I can't have my girls letting me down while we sample the local nightlife." With that he gave Molly a huge kiss and whispered in her ear, "Any news yet?"

Molly merely shook her head before being caught up by Kinders and his famous bear hug.

"Oh Mols it's so good to see you. It's been too bloody long."

Both men stood in front of her grinning and taking in their friend. She'd had a rough time, but still her beauty and those sparkling green eyes shone out to them, making them remember "the good old days".

Baz, Mansfield and Nude-Nut both came up to say hello to Molly and Brains next, both hugging their friends, and asking almost simultaneously if Molly had heard. All her friends were anxious to know what her future was going to look like.

"What is it with you cockwombles? I'll tell you if I've passed as soon as I bloody hear. Ok?" She shouted, but with a smile on her face.

Jacki and Dangles giggled. "Still the same old Molly we see." Which to all of them, despite what she had gone through was good to hear.

The group of friends then got down to the serious business of what today was all about. The headed in to the cemetery and met up with Candy.

"It's so good to see you Molly" Candy sobbed into Molly's shoulder. "This, you guys, means the world to me and my boys."

"Yeah. We know it does." Said Molly.

"Still no Captain James though" Candy said through raised eyes. "Thought with it being the 10th anniversary and that, he might have shown. Said something special you know."

"It ain't ever gonna happen Candy. Me and him haven't seen each other for over 6 years now. I don't even know where he is, or if they are still together. I guess him staying away is the only decent thing he can now do for me. He knew Smurf meant the world to me."

Candy looked at her dead son's first love. "I know Molly, and you being here means more. Its right you're here. You were his Mols."

Hearing that made Molly uncomfortable, but today with a grieving mother was not the day to continue to correct Candy in her views about her and Smurf's relationship. Respectful hugs and kisses having taken place, they each laid a single flower on Smurf's grave, and listened to a story Candy was quietly telling Smurf. Once a year, every year when she met up with Smurf's mates, she filled Smurf and Geraint in on all the local gossip and family news that had taken place over the past year. Once she had told her boys all her news she stepped back to allow his old friends to do the same.

Much of the news was the same. Girlfriends lost, girlfriends gained. Tales of post tour nights out, and basic male antics, that sometimes even made Molly blush. They all had moved on and lives had changed since that first tour, but basically they still loved their mate and wanted to share, at least once a year, with him their stories. This year everyone held their breaths as Molly went to tell her news. Hoping that by some miracle, she'd heard that she had graduated, but all she talked about was Tom, her family and Sam.

Once the formalities of the day was over and after a cuppa and bite to eat at Candy's, they headed back to their hotel rooms to prepare for their night out. Their own way of celebrating their friend's life. With lots and lots of alcohol! And if Molly had anything to do with it, lots and lots of dancing. It was the one concession the boys gave the girls on nights out. The girls always wanted somewhere to dance, the boys just always wanted somewhere, anywhere as long as alcohol was served.

Tonight's trip into the city found them at a new trendy night club, with a good sized dance floor. With fully lined bellies, and raised spirits now their duty had been done, expectations of a good night were high. The only downer was that Molly still hadn't heard as to whether she had passed! And by now everyone knew not to ask, or prompt Molly to check her phone….they all had experienced Molly's temper before.

"Right. Shots then more shots. Anyone object to that?" Shouted Fingers over the music.

Molly drank, like the others to forget, and to remember. The good times flowed; conversation became hilarious and full of "do you remembers". They were all making happy memories too, only too aware that Army life can be a shit life at times. Jacki and Molly pulled the boys onto the dance floor. Dangles and Kinders were always the best dancing partners, and showed off their serious moves. Anyone who knew Molly knew she love to dance. Dance classes were something she had stared to do seriously with Chris and Marie after she started losing Charles. She loved the freedom it gave her, and the chance she had to really let down her hair, without looking like a total prannet. Something else she found she was good at after the whole Charles and Georgie fiasco. So the group of them on the dance floor soon became a pretty serious force to be reckoned with, other dancers politely moving out of their way as the dancing became more wild and the alcohol took it effects.

"They're too good for me" Brains declared as he joined the rest of them at the bar. Just then he caught sight of Molly's phone vibrating on the bar.

"Shit" he shouted. This was it, the call Molly was waiting for, late in the day, but that sometimes happened after the assessment board had made their decision.

"Mols. Mols…your phone. Your fucking phone is ringing"

It was like Molly had been struck dumb. Her feet couldn't move, and her mouth went dry. This was it. Would her good mood get better, or was this night just about to go down the shitter. It all depended on the telephone call. Molly left the dance floor, after what seems like minutes and grabbed her phone. She'd missed the call, but there was a voice message telling her to call this number back.

"I'm off outside Brains."

"Yeah, you sure Mols. I could come with you"

"Nah. Big girl me now. Gonna have to do this me self ain't I. Thanks though. I'll be back soon." Then as an afterthought she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered into his ear. "I'm shitting me self though!"

As Molly pushed her way to the front of the club, she knew that one way or another her life was about to change. She also knew that, just like the time she had first asked Charles if he loved her on that dusty road in Afghan, she need to know the answer, good or bad. She mentally tried to summon up a degree of sobriety, and calmness in her nut, to allow her to fully process the importance of the call she was now making.

"Hello. This is Officer Cadet Dawes. I've been asked to return a call to this number Sir….."

Several minutes later, and a lot of information to process, especially for one whose brain was a little bit over soaked by too many shots, Molly ended that call. Her face was white and her knuckles were gripping the phone in one hands and the stair railing in the other. Tears rolled down her face. She thought she might actually fall over; the news was so hard for her to hear, so quickly she sat down and practiced deep breathing. Over ten years she had given to the Army. Ten years of sacrifice, testing herself, seeing and hearing things she could never forget. Ten years of loss, crap food, poor sleeping conditions, and this is how they repaid her efforts and commitment. She felt sick.

Molly knew though she had to crack on. Her friends would be waiting to hear the outcome of the call. The fun of their night entirely now depending on what she had to tell them.

She stood up, and breathed. She had only fucking gone and done it. She had passed.

Her, Molly Dawes, in two weeks' time, was going to be graduating from Sandhurst as an Officer in the British Army. She had shown them that even a cockney from the East End could be brilliant under their careful instruction and development, spurred on by those around her that she loved. She had proven everyone right and that felt good. Chris would have been proud of her. Smurf would have taken the piss out of her. Her family, Tom, Sam would be ecstatic; she had good news finally to tell her loved ones. She was about to put smiles on all their faces instead of the sadness she had so often brought into their lives. It felt good. She felt proud. Nothing could take this wonderful feeling away from her. Molly bloody Dawes had done it.

With a huge grin on her face she stood up and shouted out a very happy "shitting hell". Mentally hugging herself, and jumping from foot to foot with all the happy energy that was being released from her body. She started to make her was back into the club, desperate to find her friends, and start to celebrate. She had never felt this happy for such a long time; she'd almost forgotten what true happiness had actually felt like. Maybe she mused that last time she had felt this wonderful was when she had been happy with Charles. But she pushed those thoughts out of her head as she walked back into the club. In her rush and excitement she came clattering into the front of a tall man, spilling his drink, and getting a loud groan of dissatisfaction from him.

"Sorry mate" she apologised. Nothing was going to dampen this happy moment. "Didn't see you there. In a bit of a rush you see"

It was only then that she looked up into the face of the unhappy stranger. Time stood still. The initial sternness of his look started to fade and was instantly replaced by surprise. The euphoria that she had been feeling only minutes ago instantly disappeared, as she took in the pair of brown eyes that used to be able to read her soul, and the mass of curled hair that still hung with military precision.

She was wrong when she thought before that nothing could take away the happiness. She was wrong because the one person who could make her sad was standing right in front of her, as speechless as her.

It was Charles!


	5. Chapter 5

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 5**

Molly pushed her way back to her friends as fast as she could. As soon as she entered the bar area, the lads immediately had eyes on her, and instantly knew that it was bad news.

"AH SHIT" Spat out Brains.

"No fucking way?" Kinders half asked. "They can't have failed her, they just can't have." Looking around though they all knew that by the anger on Molly's face, they obviously could have.

"Sorry Molly" Jacki said to her mate.

"Yeah…tough news…the worst...but shit…..I don't know what to say." Tried Fingers.

Molly looked at the group all with such concern on their faces it took her a few seconds to figure out that they were sad for whole different ball bag than she was.

"No No No…you prannets. I passed. I'm graduating. I've done it. I got through"

Loud woops and cheers went up in the group and Molly was picked up and spun around by Brains. Everyone was delighted.

"So what the fuck…" He said "…..is the sad face for? You'd make one hell of a poker player. You had us all fooled."

Then Mansfield Mike shouted out "Bossman", and they all, apart from Molly turned to see their former Captain slowly and cautiously making his way over to the group.

"Alright guys" Charles said softly "It's good to see you all again."

His greeting was met with stony silence and the group subconsciously drew themselves closer to Molly, almost trying to protect her from her ex. Charles' eyes flicked over to his still beautiful ex-wife. The woman he thought he loved beyond all others, the woman who he had treated so badly, and now the woman who wouldn't even raise her eyes to look at him.

"It's good to see you again Molly. " He almost whispered. Even then she didn't reply, instead just fiddled with her phone and stepped closer to Brains.

"I think it's time we were going Mols." Brains said as he put his arm around her. Wanting desperately to get her away from such a potential explosive situation. Honestly though he didn't know how she would react. She had at times a hell of a temper on her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to kick off in public place just minutes after being told she was going to be passing out as an Officer! So he thought it best that they leave.

"Yeah" Jacki said pointing at her and Dangles. "We'll come with you too." Walking away from Charles with a very short nod of the head and a duty bound "Sir" directed at him. Jacki knew Charles had stayed in and was now a Major, and despite the fact she disliked him for hurting her friend she still knew that he demanded respect to his rank, and she wasn't going to jeopardise her career at this stage for a silly game of one up manship. Leaving was simply the best option for all.

"Aww come on guys lest stay." Pleaded Mansfield. Stupidly hoping that everyone would just be able to play nice. "We haven't seen the Bossman in years. It will be good to catch up. Beside we're celebrating" But as he look around at all the stunned faces he knew the chances of this happening were slim.

"No, no…I think I'll just go." Said Molly turning to leave with Brains close behind. "You guys stay, have a good night. I'll catch up with you later."

"Celebrating?" Charles said, making Molly stop in her tracks. A small part of him fearing just what they were celebrating as he noticed just how close Brains and Molly seemed to be. "What, I mean who, that is….what's being celebrated, that is if you want to say."

Kinders looked at directly at Molly for permission to say, she merely just shrugged her shoulders. She still hadn't made eye contact with Charles yet, but could see out of the corner of her eyes he was watching her intently. She didn't like it. It felt all wrong, too familiar, when he had lost all those rights years ago. All she wanted to do was leave, go back into that little bubble where he could no longer cause her to have any types of feelings about him again. Wherever that fucking bubble was, and right now, at this moment she felt it was in her hotel room, alone with only a big bottle of vodka for company.

"Mols, here has just passes her Officer training. Two weeks' time from now we'll all be saluting her and calling her Ma'am." Kinders proudly announced as he bear hugged Molly for the second time that day.

"Wow. Shit. That's great Molly. Well done. I had no idea. Fuck. Congratulations. I always knew you'd be brilliant. Didn't I always tell you that?"

No sooner were the words out of his mouth Charles knew he'd said the wrong thing. Molly snapped her head up and very quietly and coldly said;

"Yeah. But why should I have believed you? You used to tell me a lot of things. Most of them all appeared to have been lies. This, me, what I've achieved has fuck all to do with you." And with that she spun around and walked out of the club.

She had no idea how things ended that night. When she left Brains came with her back to the hotel, where she promptly broke down and cried all night in his protective arms. They left very early the next morning. Not saying good bye to any of their friends. She'd text them later, explain, beg forgiveness, and promises to catch up soon with them all. They once again would understand just what pain she was going through.

The ride home with Brains was awful. She was silence and hung-over. He was so very scared to open his mouth just in case he said the wrong thing. Nothing, he thought in this situation though to be honest could be the right thing to say!

As soon as they got home Molly disappeared to her room, while Brains went to collect Poppy from the sitters. With all that had gone on last night Molly had failed to tell her other friends and family her news. So she sent out a group text to them all, and within minutes was inundated with congratulations from them all. This made Molly feel so much more guilty, as yet again the situation with her and Charles had impacted on others.

She called her parents who could hardly speak with pride. Her relationship with both her parents was really good now a days. Everyone seemed more mature and accepting. They had been huge pillars of support where Marie, Chris and Tom were concerned. They welcomed Tom into the family with no qualms or fuss, and she loved them even more for that. She kept the conversation brief, and promised to call in few days' time with timing etc. for the passing out parade. She wanted to speak to Tom before it got late too, wanting him to hear the good news directly from her. He too was happy, which for an 11 year old almost equates to being ecstatic. He could be such a reserved child. She then tried to call Sam, but got no answer. Next she called Charles' parents on their home phone, as she often did and had promised to do as soon as she learnt her fate.

"James' "The voice spoke on the other end of the line. "Hello…hello"

Molly couldn't believe it. The voice that had once made her melt, but now only made her feel frozen, had answered his parent's phone. Of course he was allowed to answer it they were his parents after all, it's just for so long she hadn't had to factor him into the equation of her and their relationship, the realisation that he was there was hard to take.

"Hi could I speak to Ruth please…or….or Peter?"

" Of course who should I say is call….Molly? Molly… is that you?"

"Could I just speak with them please Charles."

"Yes, I'll get Mum." And with that he rested the phone down and the next voice she heard was Ruth's.

Of course Ruth was delighted, though embarrassed by what had just happened. She had hoped to warn Molly that Charles was back. Back for good actually, and was going to be moving quite close to where Molly now lived coincidently, but she didn't know how to tell her. She knew it would be hard for Molly seeing Charles back in the UK, seeing him set up home and settling in the same town as her. She knew that despite the hard act that Molly tried to portray when it came to Charles, her stupid, messed up son, he had hurt her so very much.

Ruth walked back into the kitchen and shared Molly's success with Peter. He was happy for her. As he looked over to his wife and son he could see the worry etched on both their faces. They all knew Charles' return to the UK, back to Aldershot, was going to have its difficulties. New lives had been made, while others still continued and remained fragile. Their job as parents was to help Charles continue being the positive individual that he had again become over the past several years. Mindful that too much blame and memories of the past may only cause all that he had worked hard for and held onto, despite the opposition, may again slip away from him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 6**

Charles sat on the end of the bed, playing with the curls on the back of his head, and felt just…hopeless. He was a grown man, an army Major, and coming towards his 40th birthday and he still felt at times lost, devoid of hope and completely empty. It wasn't just tonight, it wasn't her telephone call or any of the past events that made him feel like this, he felt like this most of the time if he was truthful. He'd always known it was going to be hard returning home, bringing back all those memories and baggage he acquired on his last tour with 2 section and Georgie. It was just so much harder than he had truly expected.

Sam, his parents, even Rebecca, were all pleased to see him home. Partly because they missed him, but also because they appreciated that this once strong man, happy man, who had done so much in the years to recover from his mental torments, was still not living a life. He was not moving on. His only escape from the strict military life he had thrown himself into was to throw himself into more military life. He had few friends and almost no social life. It was as though he was waiting, waiting for his life to start again, waiting for forgiveness. Waiting perhaps even for Molly to return back into his life. But she was never talked about, it was too painful to watch how even her name made him visibly break over again and again. Therefore no one ever mentioned her to him.

A strict code of conduct was followed at all times. They never talked about her to him, or told him where she was or who she was with. Likewise they had never talked about him to her, or told her where he was or who he was with. Though sometimes that was hard as both his parents, and Sam remained an active part in Molly's life. His absence in another country for so long made that happen and easy for all, and in a way he was glad and partly why he stayed away for so long.

Sam had adored Molly from the off, and his parents loved her like their own. Theirs had been a happy relationship across the generations, before he messed it all up. If Elvis was still around Charles was fairly certain that he would be giving his mate, Charlie Boy, one hell of a talking to. But there again if Elvis was still around would they all have been in this mess?

In his years away he had learnt to cope with his actions. Accept the events before and after Elvis' death, catalogue them and begin to justify some of them. He had learnt to cope with the guilt that had altered so many others' lives. That was until he saw Molly. Then his world, his ability to reason, to cope all started to crumble away.

He had been home now for close to a month. Finally accepting a promotion, the chance to come home and be closer to Sam. He felt enough time had passed hiding away, and he needed to start living a life that included his family and others that he loved. He needed to start to settle, not start again but accept who he was, what he had done and accept that no amount of saying sorry would ever make things any different. He'd had to say that word, sorry, a lot in the past 6 years. He understood he had hurt a lot of people, but the one person who he was sure he hurt the most; the one person he never wanted to lose; he had never spoken those words to her. He was never given the chance. In the beginning he was just not strong enough to face her, then he became too much of a coward hiding in another country, and then when he felt strong enough to face her it was too late. She had moved on.

When he did return from that tour, both he and Lane on arriving at Brize knew that their secret was out. He never knew how, nor in the grand scheme of things did it matter. Instantly they were disciplined and questioned. Due to Charles' rank it was always implied that he had cajoled a grief stricken Georgie into her actions. Forced her to sleep with him. It made him appreciate the disgusting act, and dereliction of duty, the trust he had betrayed, and just how messed up he had become. A thousand miles away from the character that Molly had fallen in love with during her first tour, and had helped to reshape. Loyal Georgie however always defended him to those who'd listen, thus resulting in equal blame and equal discipline. It was a low and highly embarrassing period of his life. The man he always thought he was, a follower of rules, a calculated loyal man and soldier, was laid out for all to see…. as a cheating shit.

It destroyed him. It had been obvious for all to see that Charles over the years before his actions ended his marriage was struggling. Molly knew and tried hard to get him to accept help. He had seen too much, lost too much, was betrayed too often, and it had all taken its toll. He had been able to disguise it superficially, but to those who knew him and loved him; he could not hide his feelings away, so he removed himself from them and went on tour. He went on tour with a close friend, his dead mate's fiancé, an experienced medic who should have acted on what she saw. Charles' mental health was fragile, but there again so was hers and both felt that they could fix one another. However they both quickly realised, before the sun had even risen after that destructive night, lying in each other's arm was not the help they both need. Their hearts needed to be mended professionally, not carnally.

And so it was at Brize and after the subsequent investigations that Charles and Georgie went their separate ways. Heads hung low, and hearts even more raw than before. Lines had been over stepped, feelings had been confused, careers had been jeopardised, but worse of all marriage vows and friendships had been betrayed. He never saw Lane again, but more importantly he never saw Molly again either…that was until the other night.

Seeing her looking so happy, bursting with joy, and looking so

beautiful, was hard to take. He never felt emotions like that anymore. He had closed himself off. Her eyes sparkled just as they always did, with that constant glint of mischief in them, until she saw him. Her hair hung in waves reminded Charles of how it used to drive her mad on tours, trying to keep it clean and fresh. Her body, something she was always very proud of and drove him wild with desire, was still super toned and trim, and she most of all still looked tiny, but strong and still looked like the girl he had adored to call his girl, his Molly.

He over the years he had of course imagined a hundred different situations when they would hopefully meet again. She rarely had been out of his mind, for one reason or another. In the early days he talked about her a lot. It was part of his therapy for the PTSD he eventually allowed himself to be diagnosed with, dealing with his feelings for her and the actions that destroyed them. Numerous times he had considered contacting her, the little bits of information that his parents or Sam let slip never enough. Then he heard that she was going to get married again, and that broke him all over again, so broken he feared that this time he would not be able to recover. He actually, despite his counsellor's reassurance, still didn't think he had recovered, and seeing her again reinforced that.

It was a stupid idea, he now knew that. That one and only look that she had given him, in the club, in nearly 6 years, was full of pain, and hurt. And hate. He had turned this amazingly happy, caring and loving young women into a person that could pour out looks of pure loathing, all directed towards him. Her happy moment, and he knew there had been way too few of those over the years, ruined all because of his presence. Yet he felt somewhat justified that he had to go, he had to be there. Smurf had been one of his men, his brother Geraint too. Ten years was a long time for a mother to be without her sons, for friends to be without their mate, and for Molly to have lost her best pal. He felt as though he need to be there too. To pay respect to the soldier under his command, and to, if even for a brief moment, to be with those who had been a significant part of some of the best years of his life. He wanted to feel like the Bossman again, just for a while.

As soon as Molly and Brains left the bar that night, an awkward silence fell over the group. Some had questions that they were too afraid to ask, while other felt disloyal to Molly by remaining, yet still felt some draw to stay.

"So Bossman, no disrespect and all that, but I think you've just shit on Molly's parade yet again." Fingers said. "Crap timing."

"Yeah. Thanks for that Fingers. I always knew it would be hard, for us both, first time and all that! Just didn't expect it was going to be so public."

Nothing more really could be said. Charles knew he wasn't welcome any more with his men. They were all definitely Team Molly. No matter what he said, or how he explained the crippling mental issues he suffered after Azzi's betrayal and Elvis' death, leading to him messing up lives, they would never give him the respect as Bossman again. It was something he was going to have to get used to now he was back. And so he left them to it, put money behind the bar so they could toast Smurf in style, and returned to his hotel, alone.

Alone just like his life had been for way too many years now.

Alone, just the way he guessed his life was always going to be, as he still had a huge Molly sized hole in his heart that just refused to heal.

Alone because he knew that there was never any going back once you had destroyed your's and your loves's dreams.

Alone, because he was never ever going to get in-fucking-volved with anyone ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 7**

It was just no good. This was meant to be one of the best days of her life. There he was….. sad. In all the missing years, of all the times she had thought of him she had never imagine him as sad. Happy, head over heels in love and living a wonderful life with Georgie; but never sad. Yet there he was, sad. Standing in full dress uniform, part of today's pomp, but sad.

It had been over two weeks since she had last seen him in the nightclub on Smurf's anniversary. In those two weeks he had occupied quite a lot of her thoughts. Those two weeks strengthened her resolve that when they did meet again, and of course they would meet again now he was back, she would be polite, strong and very professional.

Molly gave out a big deep sigh. Today was meant to be about her. Today was meant to be about giving her the praise for working bloody hard over the years, and yet here it was all about to be ruined by her ex. She knew she had to do something about it. Even though she didn't love him anymore she couldn't bear to see him hurting the way he was.

She slowly and deliberately she let go of Brains' arm, wary of his reaction, walked over to Charles and saluted.

"Sir" she said officially. Looking directly over his shoulder in an attempt to maintain the appropriate level of respect.

"Dawes" he replied shocked that she had come over to talk to him. Desperately trying to remain calm. Still trying to process what he had seen. "How are you? Having a good day?"

"Yeah…I mean yes, good thanks Sir. Look I just wanna apologise. That must've looked so wrong. We should have told you."

"It's Ok. No problem. I understand. It's a big day for you and of course you would want all the people that you love around you."

"Yeah?... but even so seeing your parents and son suddenly turning up at your place of work like that must be a bit of shock…. even for you."

"I'll give you that." He half smirked, noticing how she now had given him full eye contact, and how it disturbed him. "It's okay Molly it's your day. Have a good one. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it; you worked bloody hard to get here."

"Thank you Sir." She then turned and walked away back to her guests.

Molly was relieved that actually had gone better than she thought. Today was her special day and she wanted to share it. Of course her parents and Tom were there to see her pass out, thanks to Brains. It was all planned and was going to be perfect…just like someone once said everything in her world could be. That was until Charles came walking down the corridor. No had expected him to be there, and no one had certainly thought about telling him that they were attending his ex-wife's passing out parade. So understandably it came as a bit of shock to all when they came face-to-face with one another. However Molly after she had smoothed potential troubled waters couldn't waste any more time on Charles. There has been too much of that over the years. She needed to get ready for the ceremony.

The day was long with speeches, marching, more speeches, and photographs. A day full of perfect pomp and ceremony, another thing the British Army did exceptionally well. Something that Molly was incredibly proud to be part of. Something that she was so happy she had got to share it with her dear loved ones. She knew they were all out there in the crowd up front and centre, with Brains sat alongside them, all bursting with pride at their girl's achievement

Molly also knew there was someone else in the crowd that was watching, pleased for her and she couldn't take that away from him. No matter what they had been through, it was ultimately him who started her on this path, and it was him who started her belief in herself and it was him who through leaving her had spurred her on to this point of her life.

...OG... 

On entering the ballroom, that evening it was everything that Molly had expected. She'd been to lots of military dos with Charles, but tonight it was her celebration, with her guests joining her. It felt good. Jacki, Dangles, Fingers, and of course Brains joined her. All booted and suited and looking smart as they possibly could. Anticipation in the room was incredible. Molly knew tonight was going to be one she would never forget.

"We are so happy to be here with you tonight." Jacki said. "I can't believe how far you've come Mols."

"Well I can." Shouted Brains as the noise in the room grew louder. "We all knew from day one."

Molly laughed. "I don't think so mate. If I remember right, when you first met me, you sent me to Coventry and were all just a bit shitty to me."

Kinders looked down his shoes. "Yeah not our finest moments there Mols. I should've pulled the lads up on that. The Bossman give me a hell of a bollocking for that. Told me that we all should be looking out for each and every one of the section….. regardless of a past knee trembler down the back of an ally!"

"Really." Molly spat her champagne out. "He said that? I never knew. Didn't think he cared then."

"He always cared Molly." Kinders said. "He just got a little bit mixed up there for a while and royally screwed everything up."

"Yeah whatever mate. Come on let's go and have fun"

Molly was having a wonderful time he could see that. He knew that look on her face. Pure joy. A look he used to feel privileged to see, because it used to be so often directed at him. Now the look was there just because! Now she was bestowing it on all her friends on the dance floor and her fellow cadets who'd passed out today. He could see that she still was the Molly Dawes that he had once loved. Still popular, still everyone's friend, and still the beautiful life and soul of every party.

As she was bouncing around the dance floor, in a much more practice style that she had when they had been together, hair escaping from her up do and framing her glowing face, he wondered once again why exactly he was still here. The parade and the ceremony was something he had to attend. His new non-combat role in training meant that he would be indirectly involved in the training of future cadets, so going against that long standing urge not to attend functions, not to get involved again he accepted the college's invitation. He turned up out of respect of duty, of necessity to start mixing with his new colleagues, and of course out of curiosity and a whole other load of emotions, which he couldn't expose, to see Molly pass out. 

The meeting in the corridor was bloody uncomfortable and, if he hadn't know it already, made him realise just how much Molly's parents hated him. She was the only one who approached him, who talked to him. Yes his parents gave him a wave and blew him a kiss but they never actually talked to him. They had chosen their loyalty for the day and in some ways that made him happy. That they still were there for Molly. 

So after Molly's brief chat to him he merely just turned away, thinking it was for the best, and went and got on with his job for the day... being a Major, mixing with staff and the cadet's families. Going up to talk to Belinda or Dave would not have been a fair thing to do, not today, not on Molly's day. Besides he wasn't even sure what he could have said to them. What after all that had happened after all they had screamed and shouted to him over the years, was there was left to say? Her family would never forgive him; never let him back in, in their eyes and in his, as today finally proved, Molly was better off without him.

So after his duties of the day where over Charles was now questioning himself why had he taken the effort to come back again for the evening do? It wasn't expected, though his colleges did welcome him to their table, pleased their new Major was making such an effort with them. Few, if at all any, knew of the terminal link he once had had with one of the passing out cadets. Molly's name change over the years from Dawes to James to Dawes again had thrown many of them off the scent. He could therefore at any time go home. Turn around, satisfied that his duty had been done, but instead he stayed fascinated once again that he was in the same room as the green eyed brunette that held his attention.

"You know I never thought..." said Fingers standing next to Charles at the bar, "that one man could be such a dick."

Charles' head snapped round. "Careful Fingers I'm still your superior, even if you're not in my chain of command."

"Who said that I was talking about you?" He smirked and walked away pleased he'd scored some points for Molly's team.

Kinders walked over having seen the anger flash in Charles' eyes and the look of victory on Fingers' face. He didn't really want to give his former C.O the time of day, and he wouldn't have done had he not also seen the look of pain that ran across Charles face on hearing Fingers' words.

"You got to understand, the lads, they think of Mols as one of them, their little sister. They feel they have to protect her. Christ knowns though she can fight her own battles better than some of them. "

"Yes I get it. Me, being back is going to be hard. Brings up so unpleasant memories. I wasn't expecting a welcome home party. Wouldn't want one. Done nothing to be proud of."

"That you haven't Sir." Kinders agreed. "It's just, you know, it was the lads that lost their friend, the medic, when you got together. We were all fine about that. You made her happy after Smurf, but then you hurt her. We were the ones to pick up after you. It's kind of feeling all wrong seeing you again."

Charles sighed. No matter how hard it was to explain to them about his illness, no matter how many counsellors he saw to help him sort out his PTSD, he would never, on the most basic of levels, be able to show this group of lads why it all went to shit. It was something he just didn't have in himself, the ability to explain, especially when it had taken him nearly five years to start just accepting it, and it was a battle he faced every morning still. Without that explanation he believed he had no hope of their forgiveness.

"So" Charles said. "Tell me about her. How's she doing? She looks well."

Kinders shot him a look. "I'm not here to gossip about her to you. You gave up that right to know about her a long time ago."

"She looks happy." Charles carried on. "Her and Brains seem happy. Christ they've both even learned to dance properly."

He was watching Brains gentle dance Molly around the floor in an old fashioned way. They were very close and she rested her head on his shoulders with her eyes closed. His arms held out in the appropriate manner for a formal dance partner, yet there was a togetherness that Charles found difficult to watch.

"Yeah that's one thing Dawes does now... she bloody knows how to dance." And with this Kinders left Charles and went off to find some real friends to talk to.

Charles stood staring at the dance floor for a long time. She never left it once and danced with numerous partners, enjoying them all. Several times his musings were interrupted by colleagues finding their way over to talk to him, trying to get to know him better. But each and every time he was left alone he didn't think about all those times he'd held Molly, all those times they'd dance together and she would complain about him being so tall that her neck hurt trying to look up at him. Instead all he could think about was how sorry he felt. He would never feel that again, not with Molly, he never wanted or expected her to let him back into her heart, but he was also sorry as he knew he would never have that closeness with anyone else. His world and everything in was just about him, Sam and his parents. No risky love affairs, no broken heart, no involvements. He had recovered from Molly. There was no love between them anymore. There was nothing for them left at all, apart from the need for him to say those three little words to her. Those three words that he had been denied in ever saying to her face, but that meant so much, and needed him to finally say them….I am sorry. 

Well that was how he felt until he heard Jacki alongside saying to him.

"They look good don't they? Her and Brains."

"Yip they do. I was just saying to Kinders. Molly looks happy Brains is a good friend, you all have been to her."

"Oh no" Jacki said with a grin on her face. "Brains has been so much more than that to Molly... they live together now... didn't you know?"

And with those words she almost skipped off. And it was with those few words that Charles knew he was feeling things he hadn't felt in a long time. The belief his heart had accepted a life without Molly as his future. Now his numb heart was again hurting, physically hurt. Hurting again for Molly.

He knew then at that moment.

He still loved her. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 8**

"Ah come on Mols you know you want to."

"I'm tellin ya Brains no. I'm off alcohol for life. Never touching the bleeding stuff again."

"It's been over month now. No one, not even Molly Dawes. Can have a hangover that long."

"Well I can and I bloody do. Besides I have a date. I'm having a movie night I with Tom. Crap films, crap food, all snuggled up with in front of the fire. It was his idea."

"Fair enough" said Brains. "But seriously Mols you weren't that bad you know."

Molly didn't know whether to believe Brains or not. Her passing out ball had been over a month ago and of the bits she could remember of it she had obviously enjoyed herself. Flash backs of her doing her famous karaoke routine, doing some jive dancing and lots of shots were her main memories. Oh that and having to be fireman lifted back to the barracks by Brains in the very early hours of the next morning. The hangover that followed was dreadful. She was off booze for good. No way could she contemplate a drink ever again, never mind voluntarily walking into pub tonight with all those smells, as Brains suggested. Besides she needed to spend time with her special man, Tom. They had an easy going relationship and a night in was special to her. She and Charles used to share nights like this with Sam and those were equally precious, not only because they had Sam's company, but Molly had Charles', and film night meant she could do one of her favourite things and snuggle deep into his chest being tightly held in return. 

The month since her graduation had been amazing. Busy, but truly amazing. Her new role within her regiment was to deliver CMT training to newly qualified soldiers, based both at Sandhurst and Aldershot barracks. A role she felt was made for her. Perfect in fact! Her new Captain was a friendly easy going man who had the respect of his men. He welcomed Molly with open arms, praised her past works then threw her right into the proverbial deep end. She'd been put in charge of planning, as well as delivering a programme of education for all the NCOs. A role that threw her into the pathway of many senior people, who actually listen to what she had to say. 

One of these such senior ranks was Charles. But true to her training she was respectful and polite at all times, and if she was honest avoided as much contact with him or his department which seemed decent. She was adamant that Major bloody James would not need to factor in her new life if she could help it. This approach, she felt was very much reciprocated by Charles himself. He never sort her out, or even acknowledge her unless circumstances dictated so. He was probably still so wrapped up in Georgie that he didn't need her hassle in their lives. In fact the one and only meeting where they had both been attending he was totally professional, praised her presentation reluctantly and appropriately, and then left. Cold, remote, distant. Just like the Rupert she met on her first day on tour. He'd treated her like the regret she though he must have felt about ever getting involved with her. 

Luckily her regular Friday night drive to pick Tom up from the station, him coming home for the weekend was quick. She hated keeping him waiting. Disliked the thought of him standing on the station looking lost, waiting and hoping she would arrive soon. Molly guessed that it was probably partly down to her own childhood when there were so many times she was locked out of the house, both parents forgetting to be back in time for her at the end of a school day. Or it could be down to the fact that Marie had been such a great Mum to Tom, Molly tried constantly to live up to her standards.

"All right mate?" She shouted as she pulled into the car park.

"Hi Molly… yeah, good, thanks, you?" He was a young lad of very few words at times but he always seemed to be generally happy to see Molly.

"Good week at school?"

"Yes" was all he replied.

Molly smiled as she pulled out of the car park;

"Blimey Tom you're going to have to stop talking so much, my ears hurt. So are you ready for some pizza and rubbish movies?"

"Oh yeah…. but they're not going to be rubbish Molly, they are going to be great and since I've worked so hard at school this week can we have Pizza in front of the TV? Please?

"Yes of course." Molly said, it was never going to be any different. That little lad could wrap her around his fingers.

Molly adored Tom. She adored him for so many reasons and on so many different levels not just the fact that he was Marie and Chris's boy. This brave boy who had gone through so much and still was able to cope with the world. He was braver than most adults she'd known facing his grief. They had a good relationship, she was never going to replace his parents but at least she give him something to come home to at the end of each week, a familiar home, a familiar face and the warmth and security an 11 year old should feel. The security in Tom's life was also provided by the financial planning his parents had made before they were taken. Tom's school fees were paid for by his parent's pension funds, and the big house they live in would eventually become his on his 25th birthday. For now though it was Mollys', to treat like her own, and to provide a roof over Tom's head.

The bonus in Molly and Tom's life was that Tom got on brilliantly with their lodger Brains, a sure win win bonus. Molly always felt it was good to have a man around the house. Since she first moved in with Charles she began to appreciate just how comforting a supportive man to come home to could be. Something she hadn't truly seen in her parent's relationship. She tried her best to be what she could be for Tom, but it just wasn't the same, just like the way she had tried with Sam, but there was something special about a bit of male on male bonding at times. This is what Brains did the best. She didn't have a Scooby about most football teams, batting averages, or the latest training shoes, but Brains did and in her relationship with Tom, Brains was her secret weapon which she frequently and unashamedly used. 

"Just you and I tonight mate. Brains' off out again." Molly got no response.

She could see Tom's head was down and "chatting" with some of his mates on his phone. She knew also when she was onto a losing battle, so she just continued the short journey home in silence.

As she looked over at him she just felt so grateful that he was in her life. Everybody thought that she was so brave and self-sacrificing taking on her best friend's child. But it wasn't like that at all. If anything it was Tom who saved Molly, not the other way round.  
When it all went wrong with Charles, Molly really started to wallow in self-pity. Everything she did was done with sadness, the fun in life had gone. She became a person who she was many years ago before the Army, feeling that as Charles had traded her in, just like Artan did, what worth was she ever going to be? It was Marie and Chris and their devastating news that made her realise that it was only her dreams that had been broken, her pain was nothing compared to that of Tom's and the future he was going to face. If an 11-year-old boy could get through his grief, then so could she. It was purely the fact that each and every day she had to get up, had to put a smile on her face, and had to start functioning for the sake of Tom, which saved her. He never knew he was her saviour, that he was her hero. Maybe one day she'd tell him, when he was a bit older and could understand the complexities of relationships. Until then she was silently thankful that this little boy was such a huge part of her life, and she was doing the best of a very shitty job and they were ticking along nicely. 

Later that night as Molly and Tom were sitting snuggled up on the settee, eating pizza, and accidently on purpose dropping the odd bit on the floor for Poppy to sample, Brains walking into the room.

"Right well that's me off then." He said nicking some of Tom's food.

"Bleeding hell Brains that what are you wearing? That shirt is something else."

"What don't you like it. It's one of my best. Shit do I look shit in it?

"Put it this way mate, the 80s called and they want their panto costume back! Anyway enough of that how much after shave have you sprayed on yer self, you stink?"

And with that Tom fell to the floor pretending to be coked by the toxic fumes of Brains aftershave.

"Why you cheeky little…" Brains laughed and got down on the floor ticking Tom. A tickle play fight thus ensued enthusiastically joined in by Poppy. Her tail wagging wildly at the excitement she was involved in.

Molly looked at them playing on the floor and loved to hear the sound of Tom's boyish laughter. His life was starting to get better; there was much more fun and happy times now in the young boy's life now. Mind you Molly reminded herself, he'd be 12 next birthday and was already starting to pull away into adult hood just like Sam did. First it started with sleepovers and then weekends away with the Army Cadets Force, like next week end. Her little Tom was going camping for two whole nights on junior cadet manovers. He was very excited about it all. Partly because he'd with his mates, probably not washing for the whole trip, and partly because he knew his Mum and Dad would have been proud of him. Just like Sam did when he joined. Tom wanted to follow in the footstep of his parents, his Dad's especially. He wanted them to look at their son, from wherever they were, and be proud of him.

"Right you boys…stop….enough.…before someone gets hurt" Molly shouted. Instantly the boys and Poppy stopped, then started all over again. Molly hoped she had more command and response over her trainees! Eventually Brains stood up, declaring himself the winner, hotly protested by Tom.

"I am off. Don't wait up." And with that he ruffled their hairs and went to go.

"Oi….you Muppet….say hello to Jess for us… I take it she'll be there tonight? Hence the shirt and pong!"

"Yeah she might. Hope so any way." And then he went.

Molly smiled re focusing on her supper and the truly awful sci-fi film Tom was making her watch. Jess was a sister of one of Brains' work colleague, and Brains was in love with her. Jess was in love with him too. The only problem was, both of them were as shy as each other. Neither one of them willing to make the first move, so it had been months of long lingering stares and coy looks. Molly and all their mates were getting fed up by all the unrequited love in the atmosphere. It was draining. Hopefully Molly thought, tonight would be the night Brains finally grew a pair and got lucky!


	9. Chapter 9

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 9**

She jumped out of the taxi before it even came to a proper stop.

"Thanks mate." She said, sticking a £10 note into his hand and then running off. 

She knew the hospital like the back of her hand, it was the one Marie and Chris had both come to for treatment. In fact, because of all of Charles' accidents over the years, there were quite a few hospitals she was overly familiar with. It was not something she felt happy about. She couldn't believe she was back here again. Time stood still the minute when she answered her mobile. She had been out with a group of friends having a weekend free from Tom, Poppy and Brains. Some girly time.

"Hello could I speak to the guardian of Tom Owens please?"

"Speaking, yeah that's me….Molly Dawes… who is this?" 

"Oh… Hi nothing to worry about. This is Corporal Brown from the army cadet force expedition that Tom is on. There's been a little accident. He's okay, nothing too serious to worry about but he's been taken to the hospital as a precaution."

That was all Molly had to hear. She gave her apologies to her friends in jumped in a taxi and made her way there. Her feet blindly ran through the corridors that she had walked down numerous times over the past five years. Hospitals to her would never be happy places, they always meant sadness. She'd rarely been in hospital where she had received good news. The only time she could remember was the day she was filled with joy when she saw Charles wake after his shooting on the bridge. She reached the nurse's station and instantly asked where Tom Owens was. The efficient nurse started to walk her toward a room.

"I'm his mum, step Mum, guardian…his next of kin… his person…. I need to see him". And then Molly was suddenly in the room with a very sorry looking Tom lying on the bed with a tear streaked face. When he caught sight of her he sobbed more.

"I'm sorry Molly I didn't mean to get hurt. We were just playing, it was just an accident."

"It's all right mate nothing to worry about." The relief spreading out into her voice as he looked relatively intact, and then suddenly she froze. She noticed that in the corner of the room there was somebody else standing there. Somebody else, in camo gear, standing tall and straight with his arms folded across his chest. "Just what the hell are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was part of the weekend, helping with the kids. As soon as I heard who it was I came to the hospital with him. I knew you'd be worried." Then suddenly Charles pleaded "Please believe me Molly I had nothing to do with his accident. I wasn't even there…. it was just kids running round the dormitory and he slipped." He didn't know why he had to say that, he just didn't want Molly to think he was the cause of Tom's injury and therefore hate him more.

At this point the doctor came in. "Mrs Owen?"

"No Molly Dawes. I'm Tom is legal guardian, what's wrong. What happened."

"Nothing to worry about. A simple sprain and a rather nasty cut to his hand. We'll take some x-rays just in case, and will be a bit clearer. I think he's been lucky, sound as though it was quite a fall." And with that the doctor left.

Thomas sat on the bed looking from Molly to Charles wondering why Molly's mood was so different to the ones he had seen before.

"You were lucky mate. You want to tell me what happen?"

At this Tom started to cry again as he explained some chasing around the dorm after lights out, with his foot getting caught causing him to tumble across the floor. He said he tried to be brave and he didn't want to be taken to hospital, and he didn't want Molly to be telephoned because he knew she would worry, but they insisted and he was so sorry.

"Hey don't worry about it mate it's fine. As long as you're fine. Just a bit of a bummer that it's messed up your residential weekend. I'm sure you can do it again." Cuddling him.

She then turned to Charles, who hadn't known whether to stay or go after she had arrived. He didn't truly understand why he was there. The injury and his rank did not justify his presence.

"You can go now, we don't need you here."

With those harsh words being said to him he nodded his head and left.

Molly stayed with Tom while he had his x-ray and they put a bandage on the badly sprained leg and dressed the hand. He was ready for discharge and begged Molly to go back to the Barracks to see his friends for the night. She left the room, to ask the Corporal if he could return only to see Charles standing outside the room, as though on guard duty.

"Why are you still here? I told you I did not need you."

"Thought that you might gonna need a lift back? Saw that you were dressed up… obviously been out…maybe had a drink.. weren't driving." Charles stuttered looking up at the ceiling and running his hand through his hair. "I was going to offer you a lift." He eventually blew out.

Molly stared, whatever the situation Charles always just wanted to play the nice guy, that was just who he was. Well apart from the situation that meant keeping his marriage vows. Then he hadn't exactly been the nice guy.

"Yeah well Tom wants to go back. I'm looking for the Corporal to see if that's allowed. I don't want to spoil his fun. He's okay just has to hobble with one stick."

"I'll sort it out for you and I'll get Tom a lift back to barracks if you're happy with that?" 

"Yes" And she then returned back to Tom in his room

Half an hour later and Molly was standing outside the entrance of the hospital. Tom had successfully gone back with the Corporal to show everybody his impressive injuries. She knew he would be the centre of attention and he was bursting about the tales he would have to tell about his first military injury.

She stood waiting for her taxi to arrive. It was at that point that she wished she'd dress more appropriately. To be fair as she left the house that night she left thinking she was going out drinking and dancing, she didn't think she was going to be attending the hospital and having to stand outside waiting for a taxi in the rain. It was just at that point a car pulled up. She didn't know exactly what type of car Charles drove, but as soon as the car stopped, she knew that this was the car Charles was driving. He wound down the window.

"Offers there. I could give you a lift. I believe that we do live quite close to one another." 

"No… thank you."

"Please Molly will you let me take you home? Let me do this for you."

"No" she said again not so politely.

"Don't be stupid. It's freezing out here, it's raining…. God knows when you're going to get the taxi to arrive." 

This was too much for Molly.

"Me stupid? Don't you dare Charles, just don't even go there."

"Look, well I didn't mean it like that I just want to help. I just want to get you home safe. Christ what type of person would I be if I left you standing here in the dark."

"I think we all know what type of person you are!" Molly replied. She saw the grimace on Charles' face at that statement. The truth hurts she thought.

"Fine. I thought I could help. Could Brains not come get you?"

"Would you just leave me alone. I'll sort myself out. I'm a big girl now. I've had to sort myself out for a very long time now." 

Charles knew it was pointless. Molly was stubborn. This is the longest conversation that they had had in over six years. Probably longer if he admitted due to his PTSD and how little he communicated with her before that last tour. The longest conversation he had with her for such a long time, and he had so longed to have a conversation with her. He needed to explain, to ask her forgiveness. In work he believed that they could be professional if their paths crossed, but after tonight he knew that was all he would ever have of Molly, her professional civility. 

It was several days later when Molly was driving home that she noticed a lady tumble and fall on the curb in front of her. She stopped the car and got out to help and instantly recognised the lady.

"Ruth? Is that you?"

"Molly dear thank goodness how foolish I feel. It's these bloody new bifocals I can't judge distances." Ruth laughed.

"Are you hurt?"

"No..just my pride. Think I might have twisted my ankle a bit. We're visiting Charles for a few days."

"Let's get you in the car, let me drop you off at home." Molly said, ignoring the little bit of hurt she felt that they were here and weren't visiting her.

"Are you sure?" And with that Ruth climbed into Molly's car.

Molly got directions and drove the short distance to what she presumed was Charles' house. When she drew up she was rather surprised that Charles lived there. It wasn't one of the military houses, but privately owned, and it wasn't big, just a very small terraced house. Definitely not the type of house he would usually have gone for. Charles always wanted the biggest and best, he admitted it, and he liked to show off. That's why he said he went for the prettiest soldier in the Army to marry, so he could show her off. At the time Molly used to love this about Charles, thought it was cute, but now she wasn't too sure if it wasn't all just a bit patronising. But this house, this house seemed just wrong, it didn't seem to be right for the Charles she remembered, she presumed therefore this new taste must be Georgie's influence on him.

"You coming in then for a cup of tea? It will be lovely to catch up and have a chat. They are out. Won't be back till late." Ruth added.

"No. I don't think that's a good idea. Maybe we could catch up later in town during the week but I don't really want to go into their house." Molly said. Her being in Charles and Georgie's space was just gonna be too much.

"Oh please Molly. I need a bit of help getting down the drive on this dammed ankle." Ruth pleaded. "Anyway what do you mean their house… this is where Charles lives."

"Oh sorry. I just presumed that him and Georgie were living together now. Sorry I don't know what made me think that, just thought it that was all."

"Charles and Georgie? Really Molly? Charles and Georgie? You thought I would bring you to their house?"

"Yeah well I didn't know what things to think really. Come on then let's get you inside. You're my second cripple of the week so I'm well practiced."

Molly followed Ruth down the path and through the front door. It was hard not to be effected by just being back inside the home where Charles lived. It had his wonderful smell about it. It was so different to the house that they used to share. Their home had been big. Plenty bedrooms for all company they always used to have. Elvis and Georgie even had a room set aside for them. The house needed to be big Charles used to joke, it needed plenty of space for all her mess. It was a very happy home, for a while. This one though with its perfectly tidy and organised furniture and ornaments, just seemed wrong. It seemed to a lack life. The person that lived here obviously didn't really seem to care as to where they lived, it was just a place each and every night for them to sleep in.

"It's awful isn't it." Said Ruth catching Molly's look. " Cold, devoid of my Charles. He lost so much that day when he lost you my dear. He's done so well to get back almost all of the man he used to be, but there's still something missing! He's so alone. He doesn't want the things he used to want. It's almost as though he feels he doesn't deserve them anymore."

"Still got the big stupid car though." Joked Molly as Ruth passed a painful look over her face and limped in to the kitchen.

"So he's not with Lane anymore?" The words were out before Molly knew where they had come from. The question she'd asked herself more and more as the weeks went passed, but never ever dared to ask or try to find out. They were no longer part of her life.

"Molly dear this is a conversation you need to have with Charles not with me….. that is if you ever talk to one another again. But no Molly he's not with Lane any more. He never was. He made that one mistake. That was enough to realise just what he was losing and what he had lost. I don't even think he knows where she is any more."

Molly listened to all that her ex mother-in-law had said. She didn't know why she presumed that Charles and Georgie were still together, but she just had and that made perfect sense to her in her messed up little world at times. One part of her was happy that they weren't together any more, and she hoped Georgie was hurting somewhere, the way Molly used to hurt, and still was. Saying that though on the other hand she was sad and angry, really angry, if Charles and Georgie weren't together then what the hell was all the hurting for. Why did he ruin absolutely everything, her whole world, a whole life for a one nighter? With these thoughts she almost missed the sound of others entering the house, and Ruth's "Oh Hell, they are back early."

Shit. It was Charles and Peter. She didn't know how to play this. Coming to Charles house to help his mother was something that she had a duty to do, but being found in the kitchen chatting about him was something that she didn't feel she could truly justify.

"Molly my dear…..What? How?" Peter exclaimed, very surprised, giving her a big cuddle and kiss to cover up any awkwardness. As he did she looked over his shoulder and saw that Charles was just rooted to the spot. Horrified. He didn't speak. Well she kind of guessed he didn't know what to say. Each and every bit of dialogue that they had had outside work had been very short and cutting, and they couldn't speak like that front of his parents.

"I've got to go." She said feeling pleased she'd kept the tone pleasant, whilst Ruth talked nine to the dozen trying to explain why Molly was in his kitchen.

He didn't speak. Just moved further into the kitchen to get himself a coffee, just as he always had done when they were married. Her Charles' routine… come through the front door…. kiss her… then turn on his beloved coffee machine while talking about his day. He used to say that he wasn't a fully functioning husband until he had his first cup of coffee on coming home each night. It was a lovely happy memory that made Molly smile, she accidently caught Charles' eye and he was smiling, perhaps he was remembering too. It had been a long time since she had caught site of that particular smile, his smile that was their smile.

Molly turned and left, embarrassed by her and Charles' little moment. Both Ruth and Peter looked sad at her rapid departure and watched with interest as Charles followed her down the hall way after her. Awkwardness in every step, and Molly noticed still a bit of a limp too. 

"Thanks for helping Mum." He said as he unlatched the door.

"Yeah no problem." She replied "And thanks for helping Tom the other day too."

"He's a nice lad. You make a good step mum, but then you always did".

She looked up at him and said;

"What do you mean? No matter what happened to us I was always there for Sam, you know that don't you?" 

"Yeah I know that he's lucky to have you still in his life Molly. You've always been good to him. Especially in the early days when I wasn't around."

"You weren't around for quite a while before we ended." She was surprised to hear herself say with such emotion in her voice. "Anyway best be going", she'd would be drawn into this.

"Well thanks once again….Look I don't suppose there's ever going to be a day when we could sit down and have a coffee, a chat about all that went on?" It had just come out .Charles took a huge risk in asking her that in such close proximity knowing her temper.

The question stopped her in her tracks. Of all the things she had expected from today she never expected her ex-husband to be asking if he could meet her for coffee and a chat! She looked confidently at him and maintained eye contact, wishing she could say what she really wanted to say but knowing that she never would, because she just didn't know what she wanted to say! He had chosen somebody else years ago, he had moved on then, and forced her to move on too. When things went wrong last time it was because they stopped communicating with one another, be that his fault or hers, but it happened. What she didn't want was for it to turn into the blame game. Maybe they could meet for a coffee where they both could put everything that has happened firmly in a box in a cupboard behind a locked door, allowing them both to move on with their lives.

"Maybe." She said, noticing the flick of hope in his eyes. "One day."

"Just let me know when you're ready Molly." He said "I'll be waiting for you."

With that she stepped out to her car and he closed the door behind him whispering "I'll always be waiting for you Molly."


	10. Chapter 10

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 10**

"You had a visitor when you were out." Brains said.

"Yeah?" Said Molly bent over doubled. Trying to regain some dignity. She'd just come back from a run. Poppy loved the exercise. Molly still needed to be convinced. The thing about being kind of in charge of soldiers is that you kind of always had to be just that little bit faster, that little bit better than them when it came to PT. Something that Molly enjoyed but never could be described as being an overly willing student. Long gone though were the days of her ever being described as a puffer fish, by some bleeding Rupert. She learnt the fitness lesson the hard way. She now ran every day, sometimes even with a smile on her face.

"You gonna tell me who it was then?" A funny sensation starting in her tummy, which Molly instantly dismissed. 

"Sam. He called round to drop the tickets off for tonight and just to confirm details. I told him everything was as we had previously discussed." Good old Brains, his logistic role in the Army forever coming into play. She almost had expected him to generate a spread sheet with timings on! 

"Brilliant." said Molly. "I'll get my breath back; have a cuppa and start putting me glad rags on. Are you both still coming?" 

Lying on the couch was Brains cuddled in tightly to Jess, as though he was frightened at some stage she would try to get up and leave. Molly could remember being held like that, held as though you were more than life to the other person. She missed it. She had never felt love like it since Charles.

It had been three months since Brains and Jess had decided that they needed to let each other know that they had feelings for each other. In those three months Jess was almost like Molly's second lodger. From that very first night they noisily tumbled through the front door, lips firmly attached to one another, hands all over, frantically trying to make their way into Brain's bedroom. Since then Jess and Brains were never apart.

If the unrequited love was hard to stomach, this constant love sick puppy dog situation was equally as bad. There were times Molly had to find herself going out of the room, mainly to save on her blushes. Not that she minded, she was happy for Brains. He was a great lad and deserved to find somebody who loved him. Didn't we all? What she did miss though to be honest was having someone to talk to. Then she missed her friend, his counsel, and his ability to always have Dairy Milk at hand, which she strongly suspected was now being bestowed on Jess! 

She'd recently come back from a long weekend seeing Jacki and Dangles up in Catterick. Her and Tom frequently went up there during the school holidays. Both her friends were posted up there and lived in a cottage on the end on the edge of an idyllic village. It made the perfect get away for Molly and Tom. It was while she was up there that she had a chat with Jacki about Charles' suggestion several months ago to meet up for a coffee. They still hadn't met up. Molly was unsure as to whether or not they ever would.

"The thing is Mols I just don't know what it would achieve. I know it would hurt you going over everything. Do you think it would help?" Jackie wisely said. 

"Yeah I know, but how it all ended….. it didn't really end. It just was something one day, a shit telephone call, and then suddenly it was something, the end. Honestly Jacki I still don't understand why. I mean of course I do know why, he shagged Georgie, but I don't understand why he did it….. shit…. then just on the other hand I don't know why he wanted to do it." Said Molly totally confused. How could anyone make sense out of the Charles and Lane situation? It didn't seem to have any reason or purpose to it. It had no real beginning. 

They had been in the kitchen watching Dangles and Tom playing football in the garden. Molly knew for weeks she'd been getting herself confused, not making sense, and tying herself into knots. That was the problem Molly just didn't know any more. She thought she did. She had days where she definitely knew that her and Charles were over, no going back there, no need for conversation, no need for them to rake up the past. And then there were days when all she felt was she just wanted to talk, she just wanted to try to understand, she just wanted him to say sorry.

She however wasn't brave enough, she never made the call, and she never made contact. She'd seen him a few times since the "let's meet up for coffee" suggestion, but it was always work related never anything personal. Here she was after nearly 3 months on. The invitation had probably been rescinded and Charles would now be fully aware that she didn't want to meet, and he probably wouldn't pursue it again. But what kept going around Molly's nut though was why did he want to meet? He'd never said sorry, never asked for forgiveness, never tried to explain. Molly was unsure that if he ever did explain could she understand? If he ever did ask for forgiveness could she give it? 

"I'm looking forward tonight" Brains said looking temporarily lost as he was separated from Jess for all of two minutes. "I've never known anyone who's a DJ before."

"Yeah he is actually quite good. I know he is kind of my stepson and all that but he is quite good." Said Molly proudly. 

A group of them were going out to into town to a club where Sam, trying to earn some money to see him through Uni , was having a trial set as a temporary DJ. Music was something that he had loved all his life. Molly could definitely testify to that judging by the volume the music was played when he used to come to visit her and Charles. The constant shouts of Charles up the stairs to turn his music down were a source of amusement to Molly. Charles being an only child, who loved books and the classics sometimes found Sam's wild loud personality hard to accept. He'd always used to grumble that he got all his bad traits from Rebecca. Molly never argued with that.

"When he came round Sam said Charles will be there tonight. Do you think so? Has he said anything?" said Brains closely watching his mate.

He often wondered now that Charles was so close by whether Molly and him would become friends. However all he could see was that they barely saw one another at work, and certainly never outside. She hadn't talked to him about Charles, but maybe that was because he wasn't around much anymore. So tonight could be interesting.

"I guess so. I don't know. I don't know any more Brains. Why ask me?"

With that she skipped out of the kitchen to get herself ready for the evening, getting herself ready to support Sam, looking forward just to see Sam. Definitely no one else. On accepting Sam's invitation she knew that Charles might be there, but that was not factoring that in to her paying special attention to what she had chosen to wear. She knew Charles and Georgie weren't together. Never really had been by the sound of things. She knew he wasn't seeing anyone else, but that didn't mean she was interested in Charles in any way shape or form. This was her, getting dressed up nicely, being supportive, and being therefore Sam. That was all. 

When they arrive at the club Molly knew she was going to be in for a good night. It was just her thing. Loud, full of people dancing and having bag loads of fun. In days gone by when Elvis was alive they often went to clubs. Just the four of them. Georgie and Molly always on the dance floor, never short of male attention. While Molly used to cut the amorous fellas off in their prime, Georgie always went that little bit too far with them. Elvis used to get very possessive, and rightly so Charles used to say, at times Georgie was out of line. Molly knew all the way through their friendship that Georgie was never Charles' type. He liked her as a friend, as Elvis' girl, respected her as a medic, but Molly saw not even one spark between them. She was just too hard work for Charles, and it majorly pissed him off when she called him Charlie. That was Elvis' name for him. So Molly sighed as the same ear worm of a question wiggled around her head….why then did he shag her?

Jess and Brains went to the bar while Molly hunted out a group of friends she had arranged to meet. They were from her dance team, she had joined Chris and Marie's dance group the day her divorce came through and found she was actually bloody brilliant at it. Since then she had entered a few competitions, and practiced with them twice a week. She loved it. Not only as it allowed her to dance in clubs, but she loved the old fashioned type of dancing. The type of dances where you should have been held in the arms of your lover, sharing the tender poetry of motion it brought. Now a days that type of dancing was the only physical touch, comfort she got. Apart from the odd hugs from Tom and Brains. She missed being loved, being held. She wanted to be someone's special person again. When she was that to Charles, when she was in his arms she felt as tall as a giant. She felt they fitted together as though they were two parts of a puzzle that lovingly fitted together. She had loved him so much.

She joined her friends on the dance floor, doing mindless energetic dancing with no intimacy. The perfect way to de-stress, shaking her frustrations away. Soon Sam's set started, and she looked around for Charles. She was disappointed he wasn't there, not for her sake, but for Sam's of course, he'd want his dad there! The dance floor filled up with lots of young people, potentially a lot of them were Sam's mates. Molly laughed and knew that had Charles been there he would have complained about the crap music Sam was playing and how ancient he felt with all the young ones. 

"God this is painful", mused Charles to himself, nursing a drink. He felt ancient and Sam's music was crap! Still he came for Sam, that and the fact he was the chauffeuring him and a group of Sam's mates to the club. The fact that Sam mentioned Molly had tickets too was something that hadn't factored into his plans. Why would it? He'd really stuck his neck out, exposed some emotions he hadn't wanted to, when he asked Molly to meet for a coffee. She had said maybe, he'd been hopeful, but nothing had happened. She never contacted him.

"Come here often?" She shouted into his ear. The music, wine, and the fact she knew the dress she wore would impress any warm blooded male, was making her brave.

Her breath was sweet, and danced across his ear. Tickling and causing sensations throughout his body. It had been a long time since he'd been picked up in a club, but this was exactly what he remembered it felt like. Exciting, full of expectation. Something he hadn't felt in a very long time, not since Molly.

"Bloody hell Molly. You scared me, and since when did you start to use Elvis' cheesy lines?" The mention of Elvis' name threatening to still the conversation and Charles mentally kicked himself.

Molly chose to ignore it, and cracked on. " He was good wasn't he? Bet you're proud!"

"Yes, and yes…bit loud though." He looked at her, wondering who she was here with, and unsure how to behave around her. This wasn't work, no one else was listening, she didn't have to be polite to him, and he was unsure if he could cope with a nasty Molly, because that was just not who she was. She was kind, caring, loving. The fact that she could become something that she wasn't, and he'd made her that way, made him appreciate what an awful man he obviously had, at one time been. The man he was recovering from being. The man he never wanted to be again. He had to be careful, his emotions were delicate and he could not risk them being exposed mistakenly.

"Your hearing aid coping with the noise?" She tried to make light of his weirdness. She was trying, at least he could too, but there again wasn't that where the problem lay. Their marriage ended because he just stopped trying. It was no good, talking to him in the club was hard, yet she felt talking to him full stop anywhere was going to be dam near impossible, unless they for once and for all really had that "talk".

She felt strong. She knew what she wanted. What she needed. What they needed. They were still despite everything Molly and Charles. Standing on tiptoes she said; "Shall we get out of here? Maybe go somewhere for that talk now?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Three little words**

 **Chapter 11**

Charles heard the words, saw her lips move, but couldn't compute that she'd truly said them. He felt a fool when she had to ask again, and sad that when she did he noticed the anxiety in her voice.

"Yeah, of course." He said, putting his drink down, reaching down and placing his hand in the hollow of her back. The moment he connected with her body heat, he felt her still, and his heart beat louder than it had for years. She turned around and looked at him, straight in the eye, the determined way his Molly often did and smiled a beautiful smile. He knew that his touch was not unwelcomed.

"Well not wanting to sound too much like that Essex prick, Elvis…Your place or mine?"

The mere fact she had felt confident to mention Elvis in his company again made his heart fly. Once upon a time he had screamed at her that she could never talk about him, he never wanted to think about Elvis and their lives with him. He was dead, and his name and the subject therefore should be. He'd known it was an unreasonable thing to say to her, and hurt her. She missed Elvis too, but he couldn't and didn't think of Molly, or her feelings, or how his projected grief was killing them, and also destroying her slowly too.

He helped her on with her coat, briefly touching her hair as she pulled it out of her collar, feeling the familiar silkiness of it and feeling a pang of longing in the sensation. Hands touching each other's in the process, eyes looking into eyes…remembering.

"Yours I guess. Then I can drive home from there…if that's ok. You can ask me to leave at any time…..we'll do this your way Molly."

He was panicked. Molly knew that and somehow that didn't feel fair. As soon as she had suggested that they talk, she had felt calm, in control, two adults who had once meant so much to each other about to communicate about past events. It felt such the right thing to do. Molly and Charles trying to move on, forge a new pathway in their story together. But as they were leaving she caught him staring at her, doubt rippling across his face. She was surprised at how this hurt her, and all she wanted to do was offer her comfort to him.

"Will Brains be ok with this? I don't want to cause trouble."

"Trouble?" Molly asked, then something clicked. "Oh my God Charles. Oh no. Pissing hell! I know you think I'm Queen of the Lost Cause and all that….but me and Brains …nooooo." Her body was rocking with laughter as she turned and pointed out Brains and Jess being very intimate on the dance floor. " Think he's more than happy with Jess".

Charles felt foolish and somewhat angry she was laughing at him. He wasn't used to being laughed at by anyone anymore. Those who loved him knew he wasn't as easy going as he had been, and they were always hesitant to mock him. Sam and Molly used to constantly tease him in the happier days, and he found it hard to have that level of self-deprecation any more.

On the drive back to Molly's they were silent, both nervous and doubting, questioning if this was a good idea. But the stubbornness in Molly meant she was not going to back down, and the desperate need for Charles to explain drove him to continue. Molly though was frightened, wondering if Charles was strong enough for this. Wondering if she was.

It was the first time Charles had been in the home she now shared with Tom, and Brains. When Marie was alive he'd never visited. He knew that this was the home her and Chris too shared as a married couple. Keeping that continuity for Tom. As he looked around he could see the heart breaking familiar traits, similar themes and personal choices which had once been in their home. Very much Molly. But as he looked around he could see nothing that had actually belonged to them, Mr and Mrs James, no ornaments, pictures, and no fucking chest of drawers that he remember talking about in their last ever conversation!

"This is nice." He said and sat down where she pointed at the breakfast bar.

"Yeah. I love it here. So does Tom, and that's what's important."

"Brains and that girl. How longs that been going on for?" He then asked. Truly not bothered, only happy that Brains was just Molly's lodger and friend. Certainly nothing more as Jacki had implied.

As she pour two glasses of wine and placed one down in front of Charles, before Molly had the chance to answer, he suddenly blurted out;

"I am sorry…..I am so very sorry Molly. I hurt you. What I did was wrong. Unforgivable. But you must know….I am sorry. I will be forever…..sorry."

Molly stilled, her glass in her hand. That's the first time he had ever said those words to her. All communication after he came back from tour was through text or lawyers, they never spoke. He'd never actually voiced his apology to her, and now he had she felt the end fall out of her messed up, bitter world. All the nasty negative, self-doubting, self-hating beliefs she had just went. It was like she'd been holding a ticking bomb in her heart all these years ,and suddenly, with his words the bomb had just stopped, no explosion, just a calm quietness now the ticking of hate had gone.

Charles didn't know how to take her stillness and quietness. He struggled to work her out, he used to know her so well, and now he was just not sure. He was shocked, when he heard the words that eventually came out of her mouth.

"Thank you" was all she said and then took a long drink.

"Thank you?" He said. "What…I don't understand Molly."

"You said sorry. I needed to hear that. I need to hear a lot more, but you saying sorry is a bloody good start." With that she sat down next to him, refilled their glasses and said. " So who wants to go first."

Charles took her hands and very very slowly brought them to his lips, she didn't pull away and he kissed them.

"Without being too ungentlemanly…I' think I'd like to go first Molly. I loved you and I hurt you. I need to tell you. I want to tell you." He said with a voice that hardly broke above a whisper.

And so Charles started on his story, his apology for all that had happened, it was bloody painful for both of them. Charles was pleased though that it hurt so much, it was his penance for being a dick, and it meant that Molly still cared.

He explained the PTSD and how he felt that by closing himself off to feelings, normality, it meant that he could never get hurt again. Never be hurt in the way he had been when Azzi betrayed him, when Elvis had died, never be hurt when that one inevitable day would arrive when Molly would stop loving him. She would stop loving him because she'd realise he wasn't worth her love. So he cut himself off, made the first of many fatal blows that went towards ending their relationship, withdrawing from those he loved, turning his back on all he held important in his life. Throwing himself into the arms of the Army, who turned a blind eye to some of his mistakes in order to utilise the skills of one of their exceptional, dedicated Officers. He was still bloody good at his job they convinced themselves.

He stated he didn't want to do it, he just knew he had to because everything had been his fault, all the bad decisions, the divorce, the deaths, the arguments, everything. No one was safe around him, he was toxic. He hurt, killed, ruined everything, and eventually he knew that's what Molly would think too…so he started to pull away. He tried so hard to pull away, but each and every turn Molly was there trying to fight for them. She wanted him to come back to her, she wouldn't give up. It was exhausting, trying to run, trying to stop feeling, when every day, every minute he kept being pulled back by the woman he loved.

Once the soft caring approach Molly had initially used had long gone, next came the ultimatums, and Charles used these as an excuse to ensure their marriage ended. To set Molly free, free from him. Finally her words started to give him a way out of their marriage. He hadn't expected to bed Georgie, or to turn to her, but somehow in his messed up mind that's exactly what he did. He admitted to Molly now on some level he felt he used Georgie on purpose and used her badly. He, for a long time believed it was her fault too. If it hadn't been for her they wouldn't have been back in Afghan, Elvis wouldn't have been on the roof. He was drawn to her in his grief and hate in equal measures. Without her in the picture Elvis would still have been alive. He started to have feelings for her, but these much later he identified weren't of love or of loyalty. They were of need, to feel something again, to feel something that Elvis had had. It was wrong, messed up and disgusted him.

What his PTSD had turned him into was someone Charles didn't like anymore. It had turned him into a man who had hurt his Molly, and that's why he ran away. He couldn't bear to look into her eyes and see the creature he felt he had become being reflected back to him. He only came back to the UK because he was becoming the man he once was, and because he needed to tell Moly how sorry he was. Lane was a mistake, regretted instantly. Repulsion running through his body as soon as the act was over. He wasn't being unkind to her, he knew she'd used him too to have that connection to Elvis. When she walked into that room they both knew they were only there because of Elvis, for their love for him not each other. Potentially she may have wanted more, but she could see that Charles had nothing to give her, anything and everything he had or ever had belonged to Molly. Always would, he told her. So Lane graciously bowed out of his life.

Charles had nothing more to say. For the past 20 mins Molly had just sat there listening to him, watching him break down in front of her, and all she did was sip her wine occasionally, holding one of his hands in hers. She didn't cry. She never interrupted, never asked one question or challenged one statement. He was amazed she still sat there. What he said was hard, but he really needed her to hear it. They need to move on. He wanted to be her friend. He hoped maybe he could start to be seen in her eyes again for the man she once loved, but most of all he just wanted to be part of her life in a happy way.

"Thank you." Was all she said. He was stunned. Where was the gobby, nuclear charged Molly, where was her temper? Where was her fight? Why wasn't she shouting? In all the years he'd been with Molly he knew she used to love to shout. That was she did, had she really changed that much?

She got up and washed her glass; a sign he wasn't welcome any more. He rose to leave, sick with the thought that he had poured his heart out, told her the truth, but it had been too much, too late, the hurt was still there and wasn't going to be forgiven or forgotten.

"I'll go then shall I?" She just nodded to him, still mute and stunned. "Night then." He turned to leave.

"Wait." She finally spoke, tears rolling down her eyes. "Just wait one fucking minute Charles. Please."

"For so long I was angry, might even have hated you; joked I've never hated any one as much before, but then one day I stopped feeling like that. Mainly because of Chris, Marie and

Tom's shit, but once I stopped I started to think."

She stopped there expecting Charles to come back with his usual, " Christ that sounds dangerous Dawes" comment, but he didn't and that wrenched her heart. So unsure was he, those little moments of familiarity difficult for him to invest in. Now it was his turn to be still, fearful any sudden move would scare her away.

"You were ill. I knew it, everyone knew it. She even knew it, but was too caught up in her shit to be a help to you or anyone. The only one that didn't know it was you, or at least you couldn't admit it. Hearing you tonight made me realise, you weren't you back then, and everything you did you were doing for others, to make amends, to protect them. You were wrong, but you were too far down that dark tunnel to see it."

Charles stood shocked. She was forgiving him? Just like that. Just like only Molly could. He started to feel hope. An alien emotion to him for so many years. How wrong he had been all those years to shut her out he knew that. She would have helped him, if only he had let her in.

"The thing is Charles by trying to do the right thing by Elvis, to help your grief, you did the wrong thing to so many others. To me. I get that you didn't know, couldn't get your head out of your metal fog. I get it wanting to do the best for a dead mate. That's why I married Chris, took on Tom. It's was the only way I could see I could help Marie. Maybe not the right way, but the only way I could."

She went over to him and wiped her hands over his face, wiping away the tears. It wasn't a loving gesture, but a caring practical one, a typical Molly Dawes' gesture. He stared into her eyes, blown away by her words and their closeness. Bodies almost touching. Both staying silent for many minutes. Breathing in each other's air. Necessary for them both to process what they had both been through. To get a calmness in both their nuts!

"So" she said leaning over to the counter, blowing out the air in her lungs hard, and then taking a swig from the wine bottle. " That was intense…and more importantly a start. At least we've made a start."

Charles laughed and grabbed the wine bottle and took a swig too. "I might make you right there Dawsey." Both laughing now.

"It's late. Brains will be back soon. I need my bed."

"Yeah. Good night Molly. Thank you for listening. Can we talk again? Soon?"

"I'd like that. Now piss off before Brains gets here and starts doing it with Jess on the door step cause he can't get in the front door."

Charles threw his head back laughing. "Christ I've missed you Molly Dawes.

"Ditto". Was all she replied.


	12. Chapter 12

Three Little Words

Chapter 12

The weeks since Molly and Charles had had "the chat" flew over. It was noticed by some, especially Brains, that meetings at work became a little bit more frequent between them and a little bit friendlier. Often both could be seen in each other's departments at times during the day, when in the past such queries would have been dealt with by email. 

However there was still no meet ups outside of work, unless of course by coincidence. The fact that they now met accidently, several mornings a week and ran together was just that, an accident. Molly needed to stay fit and so did Charles. His pace definitely a bit slower these days Molly noted. During these runs they chatted like old friends, and sometimes talked about the sad times. Charles started to appreciate a gentler jog with Molly were better than the solitary beasting type runs he used to do. Molly started, on odd mornings, to wear the West Ham top, the one he always loved her putting and the one he always adored taking off!

Sometimes they met just for a walk, with Poppy. Charles was thinking about getting a dog and they both thought him getting some experience walking one was a good idea. These weekend walks were therefore purely for research purposes, they both told themselves. It was during these walks that Molly got to rediscover her Charles. He was older now, but still her handsome Bossman. Still stern faced most of the time, but his face lit up with a smile more and more often when they were together. He seemed more confident around her. Confident that she wasn't going to flee for the hills as soon as the conversations turned dark.

As the days and weeks went by Charles too started to rediscover his Molly. Only to discover she was no longer his Molly, but had turned into a truly confident, efficient Molly. She still had some self-doubt, but in the main had belief in herself, made strong decisions. He was so proud, and every feeling he had for the old Molly was still there, but it was the new Molly he slowly stared to be excited about getting to know.

However despite these regular meet ups and conversations they were always just friendly, comfortable and polite with one another. Molly and Charles's relationship did not develop any further. Some on the outside might have been disappointed by this. Outsiders avidly watching and hoping their previous love story would be re-ignited. However in reality this was not going to happen. No fairy tales can be re-written with a happy ending after they had been turned into nightmare by someone's betrayal. And so for now Charles was happy just learning about Molly and those missing years. While Molly felt relieved that there were no huge declarations of love from Charles, no pressure, no awkward situations where she doubted as to how she would respond to. They were happy being friends. 

Their friendship was monitored. Ruth desperately hoped things might develop. Both her and Peter had seen changes in Charles over the past few months, for the better. Ruth felt that he was starting to feel happier with his life, and believed it was down to the tentative friendship he was developing with Molly. Others however where not happy at all that Charles had anything to do with Molly's life. 

This became very obvious during one of Molly, Ruth and Belinda's regular shopping trips into London. Ruth and Belinda got on famously. Belinda, just like Molly had with Charles, was amazed that Ruth could want to be her friend. Ruth just found Belinda hysterical. She used to enjoy Molly's Nan's humour too before she passed away. The three ladies on these shopping trips always fondly remembered Molly's Nan. They quite often talked about past events, but one subject for years they had avoided, and that was talking about Charles. 

This was all Belinda noticed was starting to change slowly. Both Molly and Ruth occasionally dropped Charles's name into the conversation. Belinda was worried for her girl. She knew how hurt Molly had been and how hard a climb it had been for Molly to get back to a life without Charles. It wasn't until Charles' actual betrayal that Belinda realised just how much Charles had meant to all the family, not just to Molly. Surprisingly he had got on famously with Molly's Nan and to an extent with Dave. He was willing to sit for hours listening to the banter between them all around the dining room table. Sometimes following the conversation at its rapid pace, but often or not looking over at Molly lost once the cockney rhyme started. Molly's brothers and sisters loved Charles too. This might have been to do with the fact that Molly and Charles always gave them presents, but Belinda thought it was more due to the fact that Charles was willing just to give them his time and attention. Something Dave rarely did. 

"Do you know that is the third time since we sat down that you mentioned Charles?"

"Is it?" Said Ruth. "Sorry I wasn't counting. Is that a problem? " 

"No." Said Belinda. "It's just strange for years we never talked about him and now it seems that is all you and Molly wants to do."

"Don't be daft Mum. We hardly ever mention him. "Said Molly secretly wondering if it was true. "We're allowed to talk about him, he is her son after all."

"Yes I know Molly. But I just don't want to see you hurt. It wasn't that long ago that you hated him. " 

"I never hated him. " Cried Molly looking over to Ruth apologetically. "I just didn't really like him for a while. Things haven't really changed that much. It's just I know what he went through. I know how sorry he is. I can't be angry with him forever Mum. He was ill. He doesn't deserve that." 

"Yes well all I'm saying is it was pretty convenient. One day you're a fully functioning soldier in the army and the next day do something stupid and you blame it on PTSD. 

"Mum. Bloody hell I never thought you could be so uncaring and cruel." Shouted Molly getting up from the table. 

"I'm sorry Mols. It's just he destroyed you last time. You went through so much, and have done since. I don't see you doing shitty things to those you love and blaming it all on stress." 

"It's a bit more complicated than that Mum, and if you took the time to understand then you'd realise a lot of Charles' actions he couldn't help. He was ill. He still is to a degree. He's been bloody brave to face up to his fears and to come back. To apologise to me. He didn't have to do that but he did. " 

"Yeah well he didn't have to sleep with Georgie either did he." Bit back Belinda. 

"Mum what he did then he didn't have any control over. He couldn't help some of his actions. He wasn't thinking right. PTSD is a bugger. You're in the middle of it before you know and it's dragging you down and ruining everything." Molly could not believe she was having this discussion in the middle of a cafe in London. Ruth just sat there with a look of shock on her face. 

"Look I know he's my son Belinda and I will always love him and I will always support him. But I also know how you feel. I know what Charles did hurt Molly, but I also know he is truly sorry and he had no true control over his actions. It was like he stepped into being another person when he had the PTSD. The Charles we knew loved, the Charles we had always depended upon, was consumed. It changed him, changed his way of thinking, changed what he thought was right and what he thought was wrong.". And with that Ruth put down her tea cup and stood instead alongside Molly. 

"I think perhaps we talked about this subject long enough. I'm going to go. Molly it's been lovely seeing you. I don't want to have an argument with your Mum about Charles." With that Ruth left. 

"Bleeding hell she was a bit dramatic." Said Belinda. Molly stood there staring. She couldn't believe her mother was making light of what had just happened. 

"Mum you just insulted her son, you just accused him of some of the worst things possible. You have to realise Charles was ill. I've accepted that. I've forgiven him. I think you need to try too. Look I'm not saying that we getting back together. But yeah he's always going to be part of my life and I'm always going to be part of his. Mum….. for so long he….. he was my life."

Belinda just didn't know what to say she reached across the table and patted Molly's hand.

"I'm sorry Mols, I just don't want to see you get hurt like that again."

Molly knew that she meant well, she would have done the same for Sam or Tom she guessed. But she was a big girl. Her and Charles had kind of moved on to a basic level of friendship. It was a little step, but it was still a step forward, a step forward together. Not the togetherness that they had previously shared but at least it was something together. 

The weeks and months that led up to Mansfield Mike's wedding flew by. Molly was excited as she was going to see 2 section again plus it was the chance to dress up. Charles would be there too! The only problem she had was dealing with Tom and his sulking. It was an adult's only wedding. No kids allowed. Besides Mansfield Mike and his future bride did not know Tom that well and appreciated that Molly would enjoy the wedding a whole lot more without having to accommodate the needs of her 11-year-old stepson. 

"I got some good news for you Tom Mr Sulky Pants." Said Molly walking into Tom's bedroom. "God this rooms a mess. Look I know you're upset about not coming to the wedding and I know you think you're going to have to be shipped off to my parents for the weekend but I think I might have come up with something even better"

Tom raised his eyes not wanting to come out of his sulk but the curiosity was getting the better of him. "So what is it?"

"Well Sam just happens to be free at the weekend and desperate for some good food and company. So he's agreed to come and stay with you for the weekend if that's alright?" Molly didn't add that she was paying Sam heavily to babysit Tom, he certainly didn't need to know that. 

"Oh Molly that is brilliant." Jumped up Tom giving her one of his rare but very precious hugs. "Thank you ever so much I can't wait for the weekend." And with that any guilt Molly had about attending the wedding was gone. 

The wedding was all the way down in Devon, where Mansfield Mike's bride came from. It was a long journey. Molly shared the driving with Brains. It was quite a long lonely journey. When she was driving Brains and Jess sat cuddled up next to one another in the back. Still six months into the relationship they only had eyes for each other. Including others into their world only when necessary. When Molly was driving Brains insisted everybody remained quiet so she could concentrate on the road. Still not trusting her driving skills wholly. Over the years there had been too many little minor bumps and near misses when Molly Dawes was behind the wheel of the car.

"You are a cheeky bugger you know Brains. I'm perfectly capable of driving my car with some music on and some conversation."

"Full concentration at all times Dawsey, that's the best way. That's the only way. I'd be neglecting my duty if I let it be any different."

Molly still found it lovely that Brains was looking out for her. She wondered what it was about her that made the men in her life feel as though they had to look out for her. Charles was just the same. Always worrying about her, always making sure she was okay. It was nice. He always knew what she wanted sometimes even before she did. He always knew what the best thing to do for her was even when she didn't. She called it being in love while he agreed, but he also called chemistry. He stated that from the very first day he met her and threatened to lob her off the plane his heart knew then they needed to be together and nothing would ever change that. Well Lane did….. but maybe in time, maybe their hearts would start succumbing to that chemical reaction once again. Molly thought hers just might be….. 

The wedding itself was marvellous. Being back with 2 section was fantastic. It made Molly sit and think about her wedding to Charles. Their wedding day really was a perfect day. It was a small wedding because that's what they both wanted. She wore a very simple plain dress and they got married from Charles' parents' house, in Bath, at a local registry office around the corner. Charles met her at the bottom of the staircase in Ruth and Peter's house. Dressed in a normal smart suit and tie he took her breath away. Neither of them wanted the military to encroach on this special personal day. 

It was a summer wedding and a glorious day. Everybody was waiting for them at the registry office and Molly holding onto Charles's arm walked from the house to the registry office together. Starting their married life as they meant it to go on, together. No one gave Molly away. She didn't like the thought of that. She was no ones to be given away, despite what her Dad had tried to do all those you years ago when he tried to marry her off to Artan. Instead she walked the short journey to up to the registrar tightly holding onto Charles' hand. 

Jacki was her support and Elvis was Charles' support. It was very simple, it was very beautiful. It was two people standing up in front of their immediate friends and family declaring their love to everybody in the room. Nobody who was there that day could fail to have noticed just how much in love Molly and Charles were. They couldn't help themselves. The joy they both felt in finally becoming Mr and Mrs James overflowed to everyone. And that was one of the reasons why it hurt Molly so much that it was Georgie Charles betrayed her with. She was there that day, she saw the love he had for her and she had for him. Georgie saw what Charles and Molly meant to one another. So how could she forget all of that all love she had seen and climb into bed with her husband? 

Mansfield Mike's wedding was perfect, and innocent just like the groom himself. The bride never stopped looking at him all the way through the ceremony. They were very much in love. Molly could remember looking at Charles in that way and during the ceremony she often caught his eye and they shared special smiles with one another. Special long looks, that spoke more than words ever could. 

Over the weeks Molly was coming to realise that her love for Charles was very much still there. It had not gone away. It had just been buried under hurt, duty and unanswered questions. Since they had started talking and becoming friends again those questions were slowly being answered. Molly gaining understanding to his mental health, and love started to bubble up inside her again. She was unsure though of Charles' feelings. He never overstepped the bounds of normal friendship. He never intimated that he wanted more than friendship. He never said he still loved her.

She knew he was scared. She knew he was fearful of rejection. That to be fair was reasonable. What Molly didn't know was whether or not she would reject him if he did declare his feelings. She honestly didn't know whether they could try again. Or even whether or not they should .But all through the wedding and the evening they frequently found themselves gazing into each other's eyes remembering the good time. Was there possibly a spark in both their heart?. Both wanting something, both too frightened to make that move?

It made the night do exciting, Molly felt some anticipation, interacting on a new level with Charles. She thought they had been getting on well. She thought they had had fun in each other's company. But then he suddenly got up and left. She'd asked him to dance with her, held his hand, looked into his eyes with clear meaning…. and he just turned, said no and left. Molly felt stupid. She had offered something a step past friendship to Charles and he rejected her, again. He chose something else other than her. He chose to leave her ,again. She felt hurt. Confused. The self-doubt started to ooze back into her brain. She was wrong. He still didn't want her. She still wasn't good enough for him. All these months he was just being nice, he didn't have any feelings apart from friendship. She felt foolish, humiliated. She felt a bloody fool that she had let him do this to her again. She took comfort in alcohol, and the dance floor…. At least these two friends never let her down. So she indulged with them both…a lot. 

The next morning waking up was hard for Molly. All those feelings for Charles and her moving their relationship on were now so mixed up. Events from last night's party had moved her confusion to a higher level. She hadn't woken up alone that morning, like she had done for many years. Instead she woke up with a man's arm thrown protectively and lovingly around her body. 

"How the fuck did that happen.?" Molly mumbled under her breath shifting slightly, desperate not to wake her sleeping companion up. Guilty, lying there in this naked man's arms meant her and Charles would now be more messed up than ever.

She knew she had drank too much, but that still didn't excuse what had happened. She should have been more careful, more considerate for his feelings for her. She had ended up in his arms. She did not know how it happened, she did not know why it had happened. All she knew is at that time it had felt so good to be held by a man again. It had been so long, longer than it ever had been for Molly . She didn't want to ask the questions as to why she was doing it or whether it was the right thing she just wanted to feel something again. She had been too lonely for too long. 

Having a man in her bed loving her, caressing her, bringing her to the point of pure pleasure; an emotion that she had not felt for a very long time was all she cared about. She knew at the back of her mind there would be questions to answer the next day, but for those moment being in his arms and sharing emotions was all she wanted. 

That was until she woke and then she knew what a mistake she had made. It was awful. It was life changing. Was this how Charles felt when he had woken up next to Georgie? Regret, disgusted with oneself. Shame? She knew she had overstepped the lines of friendship. She knew whatever their friendship was before it was never going to be the same again. 

What had she done? This was Molly Dawes at the pinnacle of her fuck muppertry! Never had she done something so stupid before. She was lying there next to a man, who despite being her friend, she didn't know how she was going to talk to when he woke up. As she remembered last night gazing into those big brown eyes, kissing his caring face….. Oh, now how she hoped that they would remain closed so she could leave.

How stupid had she been. She had only gone and slept with Kinders!


	13. Chapter 13

Three Little Words

Chapter 13

The fallout from Molly and Kinders sleeping together was awful. Molly had desperately wanted to keep it quiet. Kinders agreed too, despite the fact that when he woke up it was obvious he was deliriously happy with what had happened the night before. But he was a gentleman and respected Molly's wishes. They would not tell anyone. They needed to talk about what it all meant. It was best they said that it stayed just between them for now. That unfortunately however was not meant to be.

The first person Molly encounted on leaving the bedroom was Fingers. It was obvious from both Molly and Kinders' faces, and last night's clothes what had happened. He could not contain his excitement at stumbling across a juicy bit of gossip and he certainly did not keep this intel to himself or his voice down. Quickly Brains came out into the corridor and heard what was being said, and then soon all of 2 section knew. All that was apart from Charles. He'd set off early that morning, popping in to see family on his way home, so at least he didn't have to hear the news being repeated again and again over the breakfast table. 2 section having as much fun out of this situation as they possibly could. This opportunity to tease their mates was one they most definitely would be unable to pass up. All the time it was happening Molly just felt sick, it was like being back at school, while Kinders just couldn't stop smiling and looking at her. 

The drive back home was awful too. Brains at first refused to let her drive. Insisting loudly that she probably had not had enough sleep the night before and therefore her concentration levels would be low. That and the vast amounts of alcohol she must have consumed, to do something so stupid, wouldn't be out of her system! He scolded her that she needed the journey home to think about what she had done. Molly felt like a naughty kid. Brains did not really have to try too hard to make her feel awful and regret what had happened….. she already did. She regretted it so much, for so many reasons.

Saying goodbye to Kinders had been awful. All eyes were on them and he desperately, she could tell, wanted it to be the start of something. The gentle touch of her hand, the way he held on to her arm, opened the car door for her. Signs he was smitten. That he'd wanted this for a while. Molly though just desperately wanted it not to have happened, and for her mistake not to be so bloody public. So it was just with a peck on the cheek and the promised to speak soon to one another that ended a very public goodbye and Molly's continued humiliation. 

It wasn't that Kinders wasn't a lovely guy. He was one of the best. Seriously good looking, and he had very good attributes as well judging by last night night's performance. Charles' wasn't the only body she had been impressed with during her time in the FOB. What last night had made her realise was that she was lonely, and she no longer wanted to be. She wanted comfort, she wanted love, but most of all she wanted all those things with Charles. She didn't however want the fairy tale story that they had once had. She wanted to write a new love story for herself. One that had Charles in, up front and centre. Even though she knew he was the man who had hurt her, walked away, was emotionally shutdown, and there was even a chance of nothing ever happening again. Yet despite all this he was still the man that she wanted. Not Kinders, but Charles. However one thing Molly had to face, was her sleeping with Kinders potentially ruined all her hopes with Charles. The new love story might just not get written after all. Molly repeatedly mentally kicked herself for that. 

As the journey continued she dreaded catching Brains' eyes in the central mirror, every time she looked up, he was looking at her scowling. She'd never seen him so unhappy and upset with her. She could understand why though. For years she had told him again and again she was never letting anybody into her heart, or bed. For years he stood on the side-lines just being her friend. He never regretted that and always knew it would never go anywhere with Molly because she couldn't… but after last night with Kinders, she did, and it just felt a little bit raw to Brains. A little bit, even though he was happy with Jess, as though he hadn't been good enough for Molly ever to consider him. 

"So what are you going to do Molly?" Brains said as soon as he threw his suitcase down in the hallway. For once Jess was not stopping over and Molly guessed that she probably was pleased about this. Brains was in a shit mood. 

"Will you keep your voice down? Sam is in there with Tom. I don't want him to know. I don't want either of them to know." 

"If you're that bloody ashamed about it Mols you shouldn't have done it. It's not fair on Kinders. I know he means nothing to you. I know it just a one nighter….. bloody hell Mols I can't believe you did this…that lad has been after you for years." 

"What? What do you mean…..? Don't be daft, but what are you going on about? " 

"You didn't know? You never realised the way he used to hang around, always you he went to. Mols it's been you for him for years."

"Oh shit what have I done? "

Just then Tom came running out with Sam talking about the fantastic weekend that they both had. Molly shot a warning look at Brains not to open his gob. Of course he wouldn't he was her mate. She'd done something stupid, but there again haven't we all one time or another? 

She did not know how she was going to face Monday morning, bumping into Charles looking into his smiling face. She did not know why, he'd rejected her last night, but she still felt as though she had betrayed him. She felt a shit. She felt as though she had cheated on him. What she did was so wrong. She had hurt him, or was going to when they talked about Kinders. She had probably just ended something before it even begun. For such a long time in her life all she had wanted was him, for them to be together, and just when maybe, just maybe, there was some tiniest chance of this happening, she fucked it up. All because he rejected her and hurt her pride, all because she didn't consider how frightened Charles might have felt in opening his heart up again. Her making the first move that night must have scared him, really scared him. Stupid, stupid, Molly, all because she acted first and thought later, way too much "later" in this case. 

She didn't have to worry however about seeing Charles on Monday. When she arrived at work she discovered he'd taken a few days leave. Molly was hopeful by the time he returned she would've sorted out the shit storm with Kinders. Since the wedding he had been texting a lot. Molly was finding it harder and harder to find excuses not to meet him. Something that she was not very keen to do after Brains' information about how Kinders felt.

She had really hoped that Kinders deep down had seen it just as a one off, but she realised her mistake as soon as she walked into coffee shop and saw him. He was filled with such hope. It was obvious that he was there, seeing it as some type of date. He was smart, well turned out, and beaming. Molly felt a bit scruffy and sad she hadn't made a bit more of an effort. Her distinct lack of effort she guessed must have been painfully apparent to Kinders. Her first warning shot that this wasn't going to go the way Kinders wanted it to go.

To say she felt awful would be an understatement. He came happy, full of ideas, full of plans, full of confessions of his love for Molly. She had to crush them all and explain to him she wasn't in the same place as he was. She couldn't believe the pain she was causing her good friend. She used him, one of the kindest nicest men she had ever met; hurt him because of her stupidity. She had no excuses, only regrets and shame. She was lonely, she was drunk, she wasn't thinking. Not exactly the attributes a 30-year-old plus officer in her Majesty's British Army should be broadcasting in relation to her decision making skills. The moment Kinders walked away Molly could only pray that the next time, or the time after that, or even maybe one day Kinders and her could eventually be friends again. That was what she hoped, but she knew broken hearts can take a long time to heal, a long long time, and sometimes then they don't ever heal. 

It was a week later that she saw Sam in the local shop. She still hadn't seen Charles around the camp. She had missed him, their talks, and their runs. But she dreaded seeing him. Knowing she would have to tell him. She wouldn't keep this a secret from him. But how...how does one start a conversation that will ultimately hurt the listener? 

"What are you doing here? " Molly asked Sam as he was filling up a basket of food. "Didn't think that it was half term yet. "

"No it's not I'm here visiting dad. We're just a little bit concerned about him. Grandpa called me. He seems a bit low. "

"Oh bleeding hell you mean low? Low low? Or just low with flu or something? "

"I don't know. I'm not an expert; we're just worried. He's not right. Maybe you could pop round and see him, see what you think. "

Molly didn't need to be asked twice and at the end of her day the first place she went to visit was Charles. She needed to see if there was anything she could do. What was up? As she stood on the door of his home waiting for him to answer, she recognised familiar feelings of anxiety, worried again about the man she loved and his mental health. 

The door swung open, and a poor specimen of Charles stood there. He look tired, draw, his face full of hurt and anger. She gasped, shocked. This anxiety ridden Charles was the Charles from so long ago when things started to go bad for them. He shouted at her;

"You lied."

"What do you mean?" Molly instantly defensive.

"You and Kinders….. you lied to me."

"No I didn't, not once." Oh shit thought Molly.

"Well you were fucking economical with the truth." And with that he stormed off down the hallway.

"Hang on a minute. " Molly screamed after him, falling into the sitting room in her hurry. "What do you mean I lied? I never told you nothing about Kinders. What business is it of yours anyway?"

"Exactly Molly. You never said. You never told me about you and Kinders. And you're right; it has nothing to do with me. You never once gave me hope. You never once made me believed we could be something….did you? Or were you just messing with me?"

He looked wild; possessed by the feelings of betrayal Molly had felt all those years ago.

"All this just to get your own back at me was it Molly? Get me to let you in, then shit on me?"

With that he sat down on the settee with his head in his hands.

"Just leave me." He groaned.

Trying to hide his heart break from Molly or at least that is what he thought he could do. 

Molly could see that he was so upset, but he was also very so angry. Like nothing she had ever seen. He was almost accusing her of being unfaithful. Her, his ex-wife, whom he cheated on. He was the one who rejected her that night. Whatever she had or hadn't done, this is had nothing to do with Charles, they weren't together any more. He had no right to behave like this. They had played this merry pathetic dance of potential courtship for months. Being with Charles had started to make her feel that they could have something. No…he just walked away again when she offered him another chance. But whatever she did she didn't do it on purpose.

Whatever the logical reasons that flew around Molly's head she knew though in her heart he did have the right. He had a right more than anyone. There was only him for her. She hoped there was still only her for him too. He was hurt because they still loved each other. He was hurt because he felt betrayed. He was hurt because, whether he would admit it or not, his heart was starting to get involved with Molly's again. 

"Charles. " Molly said quietly holding his hands while kneeling down beside him. "I am sorry. " Three little words that she truly meant with all her heart. 

Charles looked up to her tears running down her face. "It just hurts so much. You've hurt me so much." He said. 

"I know Charles. I know, I really do know. This wasn't on purpose this wasn't to get you back. I don't want to hurt you. " 

"But you did and you have. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this Molly. That night on the dance floor I thought, I hoped…you and me….but I got scared….needed to process things. I didn't want to hurt us again. I wanted to be 100% by your side for all the right reasons." Molly looked on horrified as he continued. "I don't know if I can just be your friend Molly anymore. But now after this, after Kinders I do know I can't sit by and watch you start a new life with a new man. I won't allow myself to break like that again" 

Molly didn't know what to say. This man, who she still loved, was falling apart again before her eyes because of her. He was being totally honest with her now, telling her that he was scared to offer her anything but friendship. When he broke them he broke himself even more so. He feared that he could never be worthy of her love again, and so to protect himself he was not going to even try. There were times in the past weeks, when he truly thought he would try, but not after this. He knew he couldn't. 

Molly had suddenly nothing in her any more either. This, her and Charles was exhausting. Humiliating. Destructive for them both. She couldn't say what she wanted to say, she knew that would be unfair if she told him that she still loved him, it would make him run. If she told him that Kinders meant nothing that would be pointless too. She knew that it's the action of betrayal that hurt. It might have been meaningless to her, but Charles would be haunted by it for always.

So she just left quietly closing the door behind her wondering just how her life had become so messed up once again. How she was desperately in love with Charles, the man who yet again would not let her love him in the way she so desperately wanted to. The man who was once again shutting her out. The man who once asked her, many life times ago, to come back to him, and now she was ready to he was too scared to let her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 14**

Molly stood alone in front of the grave stone. Another year and here she was again.

"I'm sorry mate. It's just me today. I fucked up big time...again. Bet

you're kind of used to it by now. Sorry"

Molly stood at Smurf's grave side. Candy had just left, disappointed. This year it was only Molly who turned up for Smurf's anniversary. The first time ever they weren't there as a group. The rest of the original members of 2 section were scattered across the world. Some on tour, some on holidays, and some, like Kinders, just staying away, because of her. Candy heard all the section's excuses, but knew it was all Molly's doing, and was hurt that Smurf was suffering because of it. Even Brains didn't come with Molly this year. They hardly saw one another now. He almost lived at Jess' house full time. More convenient he said, Molly hoped that it was true, and it was for his love of Jess that caused her lodger to be missing from their home, and not because he was still disappointed in her.

Charles she hadn't seen for weeks. He never returned back to work. As she wasn't in his department, and there was very little gossip about him, she never knew the reason for his absence. But Molly in her heart knew, or at least feared. He was staying away because of her, because of what she had done to him. Even Ruth, and Sam weren't that forth coming, and strangely illusive on the subject. Closed themselves off to communicating with her. Oh yes Molly was certain…..they knew too. Molly Dawes, in their eyes, had played a cruel trick on fragile Charles. She had gotten her own back, her revenge at last on Charles. She didn't push them for information …..fearful of what they might tell her. Last time she saw him he was breaking apart again, because of her, her fault, and she didn't know what to do. It was strange to think that it was just a year since he first returned back into her life. A life that she thought she was doing quite well at. But how things had changed in that year! Her feelings were so completely different, from then. She loved him. She wanted them to be something, but he couldn't give her that. He wouldn't let himself be loved.

So here she was one year later, talking to Smurf and still nursing a broken heart over Charles. Poor Smurf, she poured her heart out to him. Spending more time with him this year than others. Hoping that the more she talked the more things would become clearer for her, and she'd have answers. Life was ironic she thought. If this was a Molly and Charles story being made into a film, it would be at this moment, when she was at her lowest, at Smurf's grave, that he would appear by her side. Walking out through the cemetery, purposely towards her. Stopping, looking into her green eyes. Declaring his love for her, for their future together. But this was no Sunday night drama Molly was in, this was her real messed up life. Those day dreams did not come true, sadly.

"Thank God I've still got you mate. Wish you hadn't bleeding died on me though. It would have been nice to have a cuddle from you about now." She sobbed to Smurf. Really truly missing her old mate more than ever before.

Candy had been upset that the rest of 2 section hadn't turned up, and it was only to save hurting more her that Molly told all the little white lies about why they couldn't make it. Molly didn't not want to admit her catastrophic mistake that broke up the friendship group. That was too hard. So Molly lied and turned up to see Smurf alone.

"I think that this might be the last time I come to see you mate. I think we all need to move on. My life and everything in it ain't going too well. I think I need to stop remembering the past so much and start working on new things." Molly would never forget Smurf though. She turned to walk away, planting a kiss on the headstone.

"Take care you Welsh wanker." Were her parting words.

Sitting with Smurf had given Molly time to think. She had hoped that Charles might have turned up today, or even sent her a text. But he didn't. They once before had gone their separate ways in total silence, and if this was the end again, Molly did not want it to be like before. She needed to know he was Ok. She needed to speak to him. She guessed she needed to see him one more time. Just once more so she could memorise all the details of her Charles. So she could have those memories in her heart forever.

Molly knew what she had to do. She knocked on the heavy door of Charles' parent's house. If anyone could help, tell her where Charles was, it would be these guys. She couldn't risk Charles torturing himself over her, and she needed him to see that. She needed him to know she wasn't out for revenge. She didn't plan it. It happened and she was sorry for that. She knew he was hurt. All she cared about was him. Him being well. Him being happy. Whatever that meant for her and her heart.

"Good Lord. Didn't expect to see you. Why didn't you call?" Peter opened the door. As the initial shock wore off, his delight at seeing Molly was genuine. " Come in, come in. Ruth…..er….well…yes…just come in."

Molly sat comfortably in Ruth and Peter's familiar kitchen drinking her cup of tea. It touched her that they still, after all these years, kept her brand of tea bags in for her occasional visits. She loved this house. Loved it because ultimately it was the home where so many of the people she loved lived, or had lived. She was always welcome here, before during, and after her and Charles went wrong. She wondered now though if she would continue to be once they found out what she had done.

"So Molly? To what do we owe this pleasure?" Ruth's voice came in through the back kitchen door. She'd obviously been shopping, loaded with bags.

"Here let me help." Molly jumped up from her seat, curious as there was tone in Ruth's voice that there never had been before. Oh yes Molly thought Ruth knows!

"I came to talk about Charles. Last time I saw him he didn't seem in a good place. I haven't heard from him for a while. He's not at work. Not answering my texts. "

"You should just have phoned." Said Ruth, avoiding all eye contact with Molly. She never had hated Molly, at any time over the years. Never blamed her for what had happened to Charles. In fact just had a huge amount of love and gratitude for what she had tried to do over the years for Charles. But just now, because of recent events Ruth was finding it hard to look her in the eyes. She was fearful that Molly would see that there was a just a bit of resentment there, a little bit of disgust at what she had done, and how it had hurt Charles. In all honesty Ruth just didn't know how to feel about it all.

Charles had come straight to them after that day Molly left his house, and Ruth knew then her boy was again in danger of falling apart. Since then both her and Peter had spent many a long hour helping Charles to gather his strength again, and plan his future. Molly turning up, in Ruth's eyes could cause all their good work to be of no avail.

"Oh. Yes. I guess I should have." Molly said taken back. She always was made to feel so welcome in this house. Now she was not so sure. "It's just I was visiting Smurf. He helped clear my head. I thought…I don't know I guess I just wanted to talk to you about Charles and that, and see how he was."

Peter spoke first. He could see how difficult Ruth was finding it in keeping her emotions under control.

"He's a bit fragile dear. But he knows that. Appreciates it and is sorting his stuff out. We'll look after him. Don't worry."

The dismissive way Peter spoke and the attitude of Ruth Molly realised something was wrong. It also angered her a bit. She felt as though they were judging her.

"What's going on? Where's Charles. Is he ok?" her eyes filled with tears, worried about their answer. Trying to swallow down the infamous Molly Dawes' anger that was building up in side of her about the injustice of it all. She loved Charles; he was the one who didn't want to love her.

"I'm fine." A voice behind her said.

She turned around to see Charles. Very smartly dress in a suit, looking well. Relaxed, calm. Better than he had looked for such a long time. It hurt. This is what he looks like without the "Molly type stress" in his world.

"Charles." She almost shouted in surprise. "Hello. You Ok?..."

"I am actually Molly. I am. Thanks. Just needed to get my head sorted, but I am. I'm good." He said, and she knew he was being honest.

He looked stronger. More settled, and then she knew, he had worked it out…..his life was just better without her. It was something he had tried to do all those years ago, but guilt consumed him. Now because of Molly's one night with Kinders, he no longer had that guilt. He was finally able, finally free from his guilt, to let Molly go.

"Charles? What going on?" It was a question she did not want to ask, but knew she would never get any peace until she did, until he answered her.

He smiled and suggested, with a nod of the head, that they talk and then went into sitting room. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, before he spoke; because she knew when he did it was going to break her heart.

"Charles. I'm sorry. Kinders…. I need to explain to you. I was gonna too…." But he stopped her there.

"Molly. I'm resigning my Commission. I'm leaving the Army….. I'm going back to Canada."

Of all the things she thought he would say, these were not the ones she thought she would hear.

"You're leaving? You're running away again. You're running away from us. Again" She started to cry. "How many times Charles? How many times are you going to do this…run?"

In years gone by he would have reached over and gently brushed the tears away from her face with his thumb, cradling her head. Now he just stood there, making no attempt of comfort. If he had moved, touched her he knew his resolve would break. Just like his heart was breaking watching his Molly cry in front of him. He honestly thought this was for the best. Them being together was too much of a risk to take with their fragile hearts.

"There is no us. There never will be. We're broken. Destined to hurt one another each and every time and every possible way we can. I've tried. I can't do it Molly. I have to leave, because leaving you is the only positive thing I can do to save us both from destruction."

Molly couldn't believe it. He said what he had to say, turned and apologised as he was meeting someone. She shouted out to him before he got to the door.

Three little words.

"I love you."

He turned and said; "It's too late Molly." Unsure though, on hearing those words come from her heart, he started to feel the little grains of doubt trickle into his mind.

"Please Charles. I never got the chance last time you left. Please let me in and show you how much I love you. Give us a chance. Give yourself a chance."

"I leave at the end of the month." He said before it was too late, before he relented. "Take care Molly." Then suddenly as an after thought, but with a steely determination to his eyes he coldly said;

"It was you Molly, always you. There never will be anyone but you."

Locking his eyes on her he said with a firmer voice he could muster.

"Bye Molly."

Then he went out the front door of his parents' house and he was gone.

That was the last time Molly saw Charles. He never retuned back to camp, to his work, or to her. He still was in the Army, resignation details all were being sorted out during his final posting in the British Army. Charles had arrived and settled into his Canadian role as though he had never been away. The consummate professional. His department in the UK continued on without him, a replacement found within weeks. The only evidence that Charles had ever been on camp was the heart broken lady he, yet again, left behind. This time not due betrayal, but due to a misguided sense of preservation for both him and Molly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Three Little words**

 **Chapter 15**

"Tom. Will you hurry up? We have to leave now." Molly stood at the bottom of the stairs chewing her bottom lip. She did that a lot recently. Constantly nervous. Since Charles went back. She hadn't settled, always hopeful he'd come back.

Tom was off on a two week school exchange holiday in France. He was so excited, but he was still not ready to leave. Packing and repacking his hand luggage and re gelling his hair. Molly needed to get him to the school on time. She was on a tight schedule. A really important schedule. Brains had it all planned. While Tom was away Molly was off too. Her own adventure. A little holiday even, a few days at a Medic's conference, a small task to perform and then some good old fashioned "me" time, where she was going to get back all that she had lost over the years.

Molly went directly to the camp on arriving. She had no choice she had nowhere else to go, and even if she did the knots of anxiety that were building up inside would not have allowed her to do anything but. Everything had been planned, and she intended to stick to the plan. As she passed through the Guard's gate, she marvelled how the military machine was just the same whichever camp you were at or country you were in. There was just always something so familiar and reassuring about the routine. Molly guessed that was why she loved the military, and hated it at times; it gave her a plan, a mission to her life. And that was exactly what she was on today…..a mission. She needed to do this. Too much of her life had been given over to others. This, today was about her, it might be selfish, but 100% she knew that common sense and the sheer rightness of it all was on her side. Molly Dawes was about to take control of her life once again.

The mission had been planned and approved by numerous bodies. The more she explained it to those who were important, the more she sold it, the more everyone felt she was doing the right thing. She was lucky that Brains put the final touches to it, or else it might have fallen down at the last hurdle. Some of her friends and family who were in the know may secretly have doubted if it was the right thing to do, but they all knew Molly once she had decide on a course of action she kept on that course. Charles once said she was like a heat seeking missile in that respect, once locked on target she stayed on target. It was one of the things that he found awesome about her.

So here she was standing in the hall way waiting to be announced. She cast an eye over her uniform. Dressing appropriately had been vital. Under pinned the importance of her task. She had been nervous, but because of her training this had long passed. A useless state of emotion. Nerves lead to mistakes. Now she was calm, clear. The perfect soldier for such a mission. Everything that was about to happen in the next few minutes behind that closed door would alter the course of her history forever.

She was shown in to the room and respectfully told to sit, and he would be coming for their meeting with her in a few minutes. She respectfully chose to stand, playing this her way. Taking charge that was why she was here, that was how she was going to play it. Take control that was her mission brief.

As she stood in the room she took time to look around, familiarise herself with the environment. It was impersonal, purely military. Perfectly ordered. This office belonged to someone who had such control over their life. They let nothing in that wasn't Army. Little did he know that her, Molly Dawes, from the British Army was about to shake that all up. Proud of herself, she was the one to do that to him.

The door opened but Molly did not turn around. Why should she? It would all become clear in the next few seconds. He walked around to the desk, head down. Totally disinterested in her. Wearily attending another pointless meeting. It was only when he was duty bound to look at her and acknowledge her salute did his eyes widen in surprise.

"Molly?"

"Hello Charles. Sir. Good to see you." She beamed at him.

Charles couldn't believe what he saw. It had been six months since he had last seen Molly. Six months of trying, unlike last time, to convince himself that what he did, him leaving was best for her. Six months of fooling himself. Regretting every morning he woke up that he wouldn't be seeing her that day. Every day burying himself into his work, consumed by the Army rather than his thoughts for her. But no matter what he did every night for the past six months, as it had been for many years, he missed her not being there with him. He loved her, and here she was. He didn't understand though, just why she was here, and he needed to know before hope built up inside of him.

"Dawes. What are you doing here?" He defaulted to his military persona to protect himself until he was sure. She had such a beautiful smile on her face. She seemed truly happy to be there. He wasn't aware of any transfers, or new posting. He couldn't work out why she was standing in front of him.

"I'm, attending a conference…..then hopefully catching up with an old friend." She answered. She was going to get this right. This time she would not allow it be messed up.

"Anyone I know?" He asked. Regretting that she wasn't here just for him. Then surprised when he heard her say:

"You! You prannet. I did say an old friend." With that she laughed, and he did too. "It's so good to see you again Charles.

She walked slowly over to him. Mindful they were both in uniform, frightened almost to touch him; but the look she gave him was so much more than an embrace could mean.

Right here right now was not the time for Charles to tell her just how good it was to see her. He needed to make sure, he needed to do it right. This time he would not allow it to be messed up.

They continued for a few more minutes of small talk, eyes never breaking contact. Their time though started to run out, he was needed elsewhere. Reluctantly they parted, but only after they had arranged for Charles to pick her up from her accommodation when he finished.

As the hour got closer to Molly being collected by Charles she started to feel very nervous. The last time they socialised had been at Mansfield Mikes' wedding, and that didn't go to plan. This in reality seemed to her like a date. Something she hadn't been on for years with Charles. Her pure bloody mindedness convinced her he loved her. Convinced her that this time she would change his mind. She had to. She was not Molly Dawes without Charles James in her life. Without him she felt lost, a hollow character playing out a role, but not convincing anyone.

The catalyst of her putting this bold plan into action was Ruth. They had been over visiting Charles for his birthday. Again visiting a son who's personality had changed. The walls around his heart when he last left Molly went up. But now she could see that he was lonely, and he was starting to doubt that the Army was all he needed. He now willing talked about Molly, their past, the good times. He admitted he thought about her almost every day, every minute. He said she was like a drug he couldn't wean himself off, and despite what he said all those months ago, he didn't know if he wanted to.

Those three little words that she had spoken to him before he left had started sparks playing in his heart, which were growing dangerously stronger every day. Three little words that were starting to allow Charles some clarity, some desire. Emotions started to burn into his soul. Emotions about Molly.

The argument he'd left Molly again, because it was better for her, for him, was on shaky ground. Here he was a 40 year old man, who wasn't brave enough to let the woman he loved back into his life. Yet without her back in his life, he wasn't living, he just existed. He freely admitted now that things might go wrong between him and Molly, there might be pain to be had, but that was nothing to the pain he felt without her. The year that they had getting to know one another again proved, something he always use to believe in, they were meant to be together. Finally much to his mother's delight he admitted he wanted Molly and all the emotions that letting her back into his life would bring. Yes he'd hurt her, but now he just wanted to make her happy.

Cautiously his mother raised her hopes. Finally they would have their happy ending... About bloody time too. But Charles couldn't move their story along. He didn't know how he could go back to the woman he loved, but had hurt so many times, had rejected so many times, and ask her to try again. How could Molly's Prince Charming gain her heart again? He didn't have the answers, so he did nothing. Believing, hoping that his lady luck would intervene on his behalf.

And so it was lady luck that intervened in the form of his mother. During one of their shopping trips she plainly, bluntly, and very simply told Molly that Charles had regrets. That was all the encouragement Molly needed. She needed to hear no more. Her life had been awful without Charles, worse than before, because this time she knew, whatever shit they had to face they could and would face it together.

Charles finished work early that day. Something he had never done in the six months he'd been there. His team were curious why their Major was leaving early, and more to the point why did he return back on camp a few hours later, casually dressed. He'd never really socialised with his team. They knew little about his home life, knew few personal details, so they were doubly intrigued when they saw him driving back out of the camp minutes later with a smiling happy brunette in the front seat of his car.

"So where are we going then Charles?" She could see he was just as excited, happy even, to see her, as she was him. There was a lovely feeling uncurling in her tummy just looking at him again, seeing him happy. She also could see for the first time in such a long time that haunted look in his eyes had gone. All she could see shining out was happiness.

"Can you remember that night in the club when you asked "your place or mine."? Well tonight Molly, I thought we would go to mine, since you don't really have a "Yours" in Canada." And they laughed together, a familiar sound, that hadn't occurred for such a long time.

"Sounds a fine idea to me Charles."

When they got to Charles' standard military house off base, minutes away, she instantly saw, again he hadn't made this place his home. It was just where he slept. That was until she saw the one and only personal effect in the sitting room. It was a picture of her, taken over ten years ago at a friend's party. She was sitting down on his knee, but her hair hid most of his face. Her face though was plain to see beaming, and staring into his eyes. The windows of her soul very clearly displaying her adoration for him. It was the picture that he always took on tour with him. He once said, apart from her and Sam, it was his most precious possession.

"You kept it?" was all she said. Holding it in her hands as though it was the most fragile thing ever. Her eyes filling with tears.

He strode over to her with such a pace that she hardly had time to put it back down.

"Molly. Why are you here? What made you come?" He asked.

"You" was all she simply said, but it was enough. "I came for you."

Charles turned away, and drew in deep breaths. "I thought I told you we were better off apart? That I just couldn't love you the way you wanted me to love you." The fire starting to roar inside his heart.

"Yeah well mate we all know I was never any good at following your orders, now was I? Anyway Charles you were talking bollocks when you said that. You know you were, and I know you were."

She walked up to him and grabbed his hands, entwining them in her own. Memories of a tent in Afghan flooding both their minds.

"I shouldn't have let you leave. I'm not going to ever again. We belong together." And with that she kissed his hands.

"What if I don't agree? What if I won't let you?" he swallowed.

"Nah. Sorry mate you don't have a say in this anymore. I'm right about this, as right as I am about tomato ketchup on bacon sarnies, and none of this brown sauce malarkey you insist on! We belong together."

It was too much for Charles. His emotions had been in check for so long, he didn't know how to move this forward, but Molly saw this. She raised herself up on tiptoe just like she had done before, she whispered in his ear. But this time what she said meant so much more to him. Words that turned back time, that made him believe again.

Three little words that set his heart alive again. That set the fire out of control.

"I love you."

He turned his head and their lips touched, delicately, both careful not to frighten each other off. Lingering and rejoicing in the sensations one simple kiss, one kiss in over six years, caused. That kiss made both their bodies respond and their hearts sore. The kiss was repeated, over and over and over again. Its intensity deepening and growing, its pureness remaining. This kiss was all about love. Their love, which had never died, had got dreadfully lost, and hidden away in fear, but never died. Love that was meant to be. Love that would now continue with no interruptions.

A life together, as it should have been before the cruel authors of fate scripted an unacceptable course for these two. It was just simply Molly and Charles forever.

Charles was the one who broke away first.

Three little words.

Words he said nearly every night in his dreams to her, but now finally, because of his brave medic, his brave Molly, his girl, he could say them out loud.

Locking his loving gaze onto hers, delirious in how it made him feel again, he said:

"I love you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Three Little Words**

 **Chapter 16**

"You ok?" He asked

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be? I'm here with you." She looked up into his eyes, they still seemed fearful at times, but she saw love in them too. 

She traced her fingers down his body. She lay half on him and half off him, just like she always used to. He'd used to call her his "Molly blanket" when she lay like this. He loved it. She loved it. It felt so good having his body beneath her again, exploring, and rediscovering one another. She stilled as she saw the full extent of the scar on his upper right thigh. She'd never seen it before in its entirety. She knew it still bothered him, the occasional dart of pain sometimes escaping across his controlled face. It was amazing that he had kept his leg. The scaring was large and angry looking, the skin pulled and ugly despite the years. 

"Do you ever see her?" Molly asked not sure if she could handle the answer. 

"Who." Said Charles rolling her hair between his fingers. He hadn't felt happiness like this for years. It was a beautiful sensation, and he wanted it to continue. 

"Georgie". Charles stopped and froze, unsure about the words that Molly had just spoken. 

"No. Well yes... that is not really….well once…..twice actually that's been all." 

"Oh God." This hurt thought Molly. "It's ok you don't have to say." 

"Molly." He kissed her head then rolled her over on their sides so he could look into her eyes. "The first time was at Elvis' 2nd anniversary. His parents invited us. Both turning up, both not expecting the other to be there. We talked for a few minutes, and then I left. I wasn't emotionally strong enough to be there really. What it did show me; showed us both is how much we regretted everything, and how ashamed we both were."

"Did you not feel anything for her?" Why was she asking him this? Did she really need to know? 

"Not in the way you mean. I hadn't felt anything for such a long time I guess I felt sadness. Elvis would have been so pissed at me. I was meant to look out for his girl. Make sure she was ok. Instead I did the opposite, and I ruined my promise to Elvis." 

"What do you mean?" 

"We always said if anything happened to either of us. The other would look out for you or Georgie. Be there for you. Be their friend. Support, big brother like. Now I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. I let Elvis down".

"Nah, you didn't. I get he wouldn't be too happy with you... not many folks were, but he was a good friend. He would understand. He'd forgive you." 

"Have you? Really forgiven me?" 

"Course I have Charles. Please believe me." 

"It's still hard to believe, but it's getting easier." With that they kissed, grateful that they were finally giving their relationship a chance to grow. 

"So when was the second time?" 

"Mmmm?" He said kissing her forehead. 

"You said you saw her twice..."

"Oh the second time was over in Germany. She was flying off on an exercise. I saw her from the tarmac. She was with her section, but was standing with some chap. obviously saying goodbye to her sweetheart! I never spoke to her. Didn't feel the need to." 

Molly snorted.

"Sweetheart. It's not the 1940s mate."

Then she said. "Didn't take her long to bounce back then. Seems she came out of this better than you or I did." 

"Might make you right there Dawes." Is all he said. Charles thought it was pointless trying to defend Georgie moving on, what was the point. 

"I love you Charles James." 

"I know...Thank you. I love you too Molly Dawes…. but you know I think I loved you more when you were Molly James!" 

"Ha Ha….smooth…let's not go there Charles." Then seeing the hurt in his eyes, she added. "Just not yet."

This seemed to be enough to calm him .They just kept on gazing at each other, both lost in the happier times, both hoping there were more happier times to come. 

"So" Charles said. "How long have we got?" 

"What do you mean? I was kind of hoping that we had forever." Molly sat up starting to panic. 

"No…Molly I mean when do you go back?" He pulled her back into his arms. This new level of intimacy meant they constantly needed to be touching one another. Both feeling any space between their naked bodies was too much. 

"I have to attend a conference for a few days. Then I'm free for 10. I have to be U.K side then as Tom will be coming back."

"So 10 days is what we have. I'll take some leave, and we'll spend those magical 10 days together."

Molly didn't know what to say. The way Charles spoke it sounded as though he was saying they would only have these 10 days together. That would be it. She started to panic. Charles could see that. 

"What's the matter?" 

"Nothing." She said. "Why would there be?" 

With that Charles burst out laughing, a happy laugh. A laugh he hadn't heard come from him in such a long while. 

"Oh Molly Dawes. I know you. You're worried. Don't pretend. Please Molly tell me." 

He sat up and invited her to rest her back on his chest. Then snuggled the duvet around then. He knew she loved to be held like this and often found it easier to talk when she didn't look directly at him. 

"Is that all we're going to get? Ten days I mean. Ten days, I'll go home and that will be it?" She nervously picked at the duvet, dreading his answer. Unsure how her heart could one minute be so happy, and then potentially broken the next. "Is that all you want?"

"That's not what I want." He said gently, turning her round. This was too important, he need to look at her. "I want it all with you. I don't want what we had. I want something better, a new journey with you. I don't want it to be the end when you fly home. I want forever too."

Molly felt her heart skip. For so long he had been fighting his feelings. Now he was opening up. Now he was telling her he wanted a future with her. Now he was saying he wanted it all. New, different, so much to learn about each other…..but it would still be equally as wonderful as before.

"But we have to be practical." He continued. "You have your life there, Tom, your career. I have mine here. Or at least I do for now."

Molly nodded. They had a lot to sort out, but for now right at that moment she was lying naked in the arms of the man she truly loved. Talk would come, later much late. But for now both Molly and Charles needed their loving to continue. And it did several times and into the early morning until they differed off into a contented slumber.

When Molly woke she had forgotten everything. For those first moments on waking she had forgotten about the years of hurt. All she felt was pure utter contentment that she was where she belonged and always had been. It wasn't until she stretch her muscles that she realised that time had gone by, things had changed, but now they were better. She'd used muscle that she hadn't used for a very long time. Her muscles and body responding to Charles' as only he could make them respond. And for that reason alone this morning her aching limbs were protesting in the most delightful way. This was the type of exercise her muscles loved. She'd forgotten how much. She would take this type of work out any day from her Bossman. 

She had slept in his arms, across his body all night. Her body pinning him down to the bed. Some unconscious act to make sure he couldn't leave her. Now she pulled away slightly and felt a huge wave of grief wash over her. It was silly really, but all those years apart, all those mornings, without him. She had missed him. She had missed being held. Her and Chris had never shared a bed. They marriage was a chaste one. His diagnosis and treatment meant sex was never on topic. That, and although there was a mutual respect, a friendship and brotherly love, there was never passion between them no spark. Without Chris' death sentence and Tom's future to consider they would never have become a couple, never mind married. They were just friends, and Molly was fulfilling her promise to Marie….that she would look after her two boys for her when she died.

"Morning beautiful. You ok?" 

Molly laughed at the same old question. "Yeah of course I am. I'm her aren't I?" Smiling at his beautiful tanned face, it was their standard response, and this morning, at this moment it felt so right. 

"You came back to me Molly. I can't believe we've found each other again." Charles kissed her swollen lips, loving the reaction this caused to his heart.

"Well that's a miracle on itself mate." She joked. "I failed map reading during cadet training." 

"You didn't? Christ Dawes you haven't changed. You always were bloody hopeless with a map."

"Remember that time we went to the Lakes and I had to direct us to the cottage. We ended up stuck in a brook in the dark with a thousand sheep around us?" 

They both started to laugh at the memory. Molly almost crying finding it so funny. The she noticed Charles had suddenly stopped. 

"That was one of the last weekends we had with Elvis. It was just the four of us." He whispered. 

"Hey." She soothed his brow, it was tight with a frown. "He was your best friend, our mate. They both were I guess. The four of us have history. We have a lot more good history than shitty history. Elvis will always be part of us, because he was there for us, right from our beginning. Georgie too... though I'd prefer for now, if ever, we don't talk about her too much. Elvis yes... all the time. Whenever you want. It's good to remember." 

With that they were silent. Playing with each other's fingers, intertwining them as of old. Both playing memories through their head. Remembering Elvis was a good thing. They both knew the time had come to stop hiding away from memories and emotions.

"I was sorry to hear about your Nan. I thought I would go to the funeral. Then I though it wasn't fair." He sighed. "You were there to grieve for her. I could only imagine the shit storm I could have caused it I'd turned up."

"Oh it would have Charles. It would have kicked off big time. Nan would have bloody loved it."

"It hurt to know you were going through all that without me. All I wanted to do was comfort you. Made me have a bit of an insight into what it must have been like for you. I'm sorry Molly." No matter how many times he said it, he knew he could never make up for that time in their lives.

"You're right there Charles. Mind you I think Dad's well pissed off with you just 'cause he lost his drinking mate!" Drinking mate and funder too thought Molly. Charles' wallet was probably what Dave missed. 

"Oh god. I'm so sorry. Bet after all that happened he had plenty to say? Bet you got it in both ears."

"He's always been a moany git. Don't worry yourself about it too much. I've learnt how to handle him." 

Molly smiled a wicked smile and straddled him, holding his face in her hands. Her face so very close to his, teasing him.

"No more apologies." She said. "Now what time do you have to leave for work Major, because whatever time it is I think I might gonna make you late?" 

With that she pushed herself further into his lap and felt his body respond. 

"Oh God Molly." He groaned, starting to shift himself to gain full access. "How will I ever repay you for letting me come back to you?" 

"Well mate". She said kissing his chest and working her way tortuously downwards. "You could start by telling my parents we're back together. I don't fancy it me self. They're gonna hit the bleeding roof!" 


	17. Chapter 17

Three Little Words

Chapter 17

Molly sat at her desk, desperately trying to finish her work, so she could get home some time to night. It had been an awful day. Teaching first aid out on a cold, wet, muddy field to a load of recruits who were just uninterested. 

"How long does it take you set of cockwombles to understand basic first aid.? She shouted at them more than once. They had truly tested her patience today. So here she was still, cold very muddy and behind on her admin. 

There was a knock at her door. "What now." she moaned. In walked her CO. 

"Evening Dawes. I won't keep you. Just checking everything ok." 

"Yes Sir good thanks." She said as she relaxed her salute. "Just one of those days with green recruits." 

Her boss laughed. "It comes to us all I'm afraid Dawes. I was wondering," he continued, "you seen the comms about the posting in Norway? Six months working alongside their army. Gaining experience with another force. Different environment. Different challenges. Thought it might be good opportunity for you Dawes."

Molly was gob smacked. It sounded just her ball bag but she had other priorities to think of now. Tom was her main one and Poppy! It wasn't going to be that easy just going off. Then was her new romance with Charles to think about too. 

It had been over three weeks since she had come back from Canada. From that perfect, life changing, passionate 10 days together. Three weeks and she was missing him like crazy. Judging by the text, calls, emails Charles was missing her too. She missed him but wasn't worried about the time apart. Things were good between them now. All was well in the world. 

Their time together had been wonderful and it was so hard to say good bye when she had to leave. They had a lot to sort out. Mainly Charles coming back to the U.K. Being in the same country was going to help their relationship 100% they laughed. And so they were just waiting out at the moment until Charles could get something sorted. That and hopefully he'd be able to sort out some leave and come over to see her soon. He promised her he was plotting his leave every chance he could get. 

The news of the potential posting threw her. It wasn't what she expected. The challenge and opportunity would be fantastic, and the chance to show herself, her capabilities was very tempting. She didn't know what to say to her CO though. It was pretty rubbish timing. She told him she'd think about it and let him know. With that he left and she rushed through the last bits of paper work so she could get her Friday night started. 

Not that she was doing much. Well not now anyway. Brains had called a few hours ago to say him and Jess were taking Tom out for the night. To the pictures, and he'd be stopping over at theirs. That was something else that had changed too since she'd come back from Canada. Brains, still her best mate, had move out and moved in with Jess. So it was just Molly and Poppy at home tonight. A long bath, wine, a rubbish box set were her rewards for such a naff day. 

As she got to the front door though she noticed the lights were on in the house. Brains and Tom must not have left. She entered the hallway, throwing down her boots. Usually she changed her uniform at work, putting a clean one. But tonight she didn't bother. She was knacked. She knew she stank, there was mud on her face and her hair was tangled and had bits of general crap in it. Not her best look she thought. She didn't care. Poppy wouldn't mind either. Her PJs called that and hopefully a long Skype session with Charles before he went to work.

"Thought you guys were going out. " She shouted. "I'm filthy and bloody stink. So stay in ya rooms. I'm stripping off right here before I get mud everywhere." With that she pulled off her camos and stripped down to her bra and knickers. 

The kitchen door opened and a male voice laughed.

"Now that's the type of welcome a man wants to come home too. Christ Dawes do you have no shame?"

"Charles." Molly screamed, then threw herself at him.

He held onto her tightly. His little bra and knicker clad monkey he joked. He couldn't have been happier. Her in his arms was all he needed. But his leg started to ache and he was worried if he could hold her for much longer. 

"Molly. You might gonna have to get down" And with that she uncurled her legs, slid down his body and they kissed. They kissed like two lovers who hadn't seen one another for weeks... three weeks to be exact. 

"What you doing here?" She punctuated between kisses. "God it's so good to see you."

"Got a long weekend leave. Well, that is I gave myself a long weekend's leave. I missed you." Simple thought Charles. 

"I look a mess and I stink. My bra and pants don't even match. Got my nana pants on even. Plus did I mention I'm pretty certain I pen and ink."

"You look beautiful. Besides I like your bra and knickers, but would like them more on the bedroom floor!" Charles said grinning from ear to ear at his cheesy line, not caring, he felt young again. "But yeah you really, really do stink." 

With that Molly ran up the stairs, stripped naked and showered. All the way through she hoped he'd join her. Grinning in anticipation. He never did though. She dried her hair, got into her PJs, and still he didn't come up to see her. Curious, she went downstairs to find him sitting on the settee in the kitchen. 

"You ok?" she asked. 

"Yeah. Good." 

"Thought you'd have joined me. You always used to. What's up?" 

"Nothing Molly. Just a bit unsure that's all." 

Molly went scooting over to him. "Unsure about what?" Panic was rising in her. "Not about us? Please Charles." 

"God no. Christ, fuck no Molly. Never. I was just a bit unsure. This was Chris' house. His bathroom, his bedroom. You know it felt a bit wrong without being invited." 

"You numpty. Yeah we shared a house but it's mine now, and your part of everything that I am and I have." She took his hands, needing to explain. "And it was never mine and Chris' bedroom. I always his bedroom, and my bedroom. We never... well you know... not once... it weren't like that you see. We never shared." 

"Oh? Oh! Oh... oh my God Molly I didn't realise. I didn't know. You never said. I'm sorry." He couldn't quite believe what she had just said. It was unexpected. 

"It's like I said Charles. I married him 'cause I promised a mate to look after her boys. When Chris got ill it seemed the best thing. Keep some normality, continuity. That's all. I married you cause I loved you. I married Chris cause it was the best thing for Tom." 

Then because they were being honest, finally, they were talking about their feelings, the awkwardness, Charles' awkwardness, just went away. Molly talked about Chris, Marie and Tom. Charles talked about his recovery. They were getting back to being Molly and Charles. It felt right. It felt as though this was the way their story should always have been written. They chose to stay in that night. A town full of soldiers who knew them, seeing them together would have tongues wagging. While they wanted to tell the world, they knew they had others to tell first. 

Molly now realised Tom and Brains were in on Charles' surprise visit. Tom, Molly knew would be ok with Charles. Tom never saw her as anything else as a friend of his Mum's who came to stay one day and took over her job when she died. He knew she was his dad's friend, but never took his Mum's place in any shape or form. He felt lucky to have her, as long as his life ticked on he didn't care who she dated! A typical teenager really. Too caught up on his own life to worry about hers! 

Charles got over his shyness about being with Molly in another man's house. He just wanted to be with Molly. Time was precious for them now. When he entered her bedroom, being led by her, he felt that he was truly back in her life. In her domain. Their bedroom had always been his favourite place in their home. It always smelled of her. Always had constant reminders of her. It made him feel safe and amazed that all the little bits of Molly left lying around always calmed him. Their room was never military neat or tidy. A hundred miles away from how their rooms had to be on tour, and that's what he loved. When he was in their room they were removed from the military life. They were just them. 

He rightly shut out the bad thoughts, how he towards the end of their marriage removed himself for their room. Unable, at that point in his illness, to cope with something that wasn't organised, sterile. Those thoughts he pushed to the back of his mind. His life, the new life he was going to have with Molly was all about making happy memories. 

That is exactly what Charles and Molly did. The lovely Friday night that she envisaged on leaving work that night, turned into one of pure unadulterated bliss. Charles and Molly reconnected with one another. Experienced each other in a familiar and yet still a new way. It was exciting and comforting. It was chemistry, and this time Molly Dawes did not fail the subject! 

The morning saw them both wake up blissfully happy. Planning the day together with Tom.. 

"You know he's kind of my kid now don't you. We're a joint package." 

"What do you mean Molly?" 

"Me and Tom. He's kind of mine. I look after him. Always will. Whatever I do it has to involve him. I love him, just like I love Sam, like their mine" 

"Of course Molly. I know that." Charles reassured her. "I'm a bit nervous really to meet him. He might hate me." 

"Doubt it mate. You're Sam's Dad so already you're way in there. Now my parents... that's not gonna be great I won't lie to you mate!" 

Once Tom came home, Molly and Charles reluctantly separated their entwined bodies, and got dressed. They planned to see Sam playing rugby at Uni. Charles' parents would be there too. A normal family day out. But special, to Molly it was amazing a testament that somehow through a long painful journey Molly and Charles had managed to navigate their way back to each other and their families. 

To say Ruth and Peter were dumb founded when Charles appeared on the pitch was an understatement. Especially when they saw Molly and Tom. Molly's hand firmly held in Charles hands. Eventually the shock wore off and they rejoiced. When Sam came on he merely smiled. Molly looked at Charles to confirm her suspicions that he'd already told Sam. 

Later driving home Charles asked Molly when she was going to tell her parents. 

"I'll come with you if you like."

"No Charles I think I best tell them alone." She said sadly.

"That fine, but I'm here if you need me. I was just thinking about Christmas and that. It's a few months off. I'd like you and Tom to come to Canada for a few weeks or so." 

Molly said nothing. If she accepted the post to Norway she'd only have a few days off at Christmas to spend with Tom in the U.K, the rest of his holidays he was off skiing. Molly wouldn't be able to do it all; she knew she had choices to make. They spent most of the weekend talking about their futures. Molly told Charles about her potential posting. He seemed to be supportive and upbeat about it. In all honesty he found it hard, but he kept that to himself. Logistically with them both being in different countries and Tom to take into account, their future together seemed heartbreakingly hard to imagine. Charles had at least another year to do before he left, needing to stay on to ensure he got his pension. It would have been fool hardy for him to leave before he had put in 20 years. Molly understood, but it still was an awful prospect. Him all the way over there and her potentially in Norway for six months. 

When Molly went to work on Monday morning she went with a heavy heart. Heavy, because she had to work while Charles stayed at home. Heavy because he was leaving early tomorrow morning. Their brief time together coming to an end again. Also no matter how often they talked about it at the weekend there seem to be no solution to their problem. The only thing they both knew is that they had to be together.

It was later on in the day when she returned from the parade ground that she just knew Charles was there. It was as though she had developed some type of special six sense of his presence. He caught sight of her as she walked through the door grinning from ear to ear. Molly did not know what to do. She smiled back at him but did not want to draw too much attention to them. Still unsure how much of the relationship they needed to broadcast. Besides she was at work and needed to remain professional. Charles sensing her hesitancy, moved away from the crowd he was talking to and came up to her very professionally and said;

"Dawes. Nice to see you again". She grinned. Any interaction with him was good, however correct or brief. 

Before their conversation could go any further Molly's CO popped his head out of the office and asked to see her straightaway. 

"Bleeding hell what have I done now?" She said defaulting to the old Molly Dawes. 

"Don't worry" said Charles "I'll see you back at home." With that he went. 

Half an hour later Molly came out of her CO's office and was furious. How dare he do that to her. It was not his place to interfere. Molly had just spent a very embarrassing half an hour with the CO. It would appear that Major James had visited him today to discuss Molly potentially being offered a posting in Canada at BATUS. He thought that it was an odd request until Major James explained the change in her personal situation. Molly was mortified. Her personal life was to be kept separate from work; church and state. Her CO said he was disappointed and did not really wish to lose her., But he did say he would try to do what he could. 

When Molly left her CO's office she made her excuses at work. Jump into the car and drove home straight away. She failed to notice the romantic table settings and the smell of food coming from the kitchen she was too angry. She flung open the front door and shouted. 

"Charles. Where the hell are you?"

Charles popped his head out of the kitchen.

"Molly. What's wrong?" Fear gripping his gut. 

"Don't you dare what's wrong me. What the bloody hell have you gone and done?" she blared at him. 


	18. Chapter 18

Three Little Words

Chapter 18,

Charles rested his head back on the airplane seat. He had a long journey ahead of him. He was exhausted. He'd little sleep last night, and not much the nights before. He sighed. Despite all his best efforts he had messed it up, again. Just a few days ago he was so excited to be going to see Molly. Now he was on his way back to Canada and he was unsure when he'd see Molly again. Charles James had well and truly fucked it up.

When Molly had come home last night she was furious. He'd tried to help, or that at least how he saw it. She saw it as interfering. Taking control of her life. Trying to get her posting changed, without even asking her. He'd actually never seen her so angry, initially she shouted, screamed, that was his normal Molly the one he'd been used to, then she just talked very calmly and quietly, and that was scary. An angry but menacingly cold Molly was a force to be reckoned with.

He pointed out that he was just trying to help. She pointed out that she had managed for such a long time without his help, why did he suddenly bloody believe that she needed it now. What, she had asked him, gave him the right to start trampling all over her life, again. That hurt Charles. He'd never seen himself as controlling before when they were together, it's was just he was the one who had been there and done it, so his experience normally swayed their life decisions.

Now however hours into the fight he realised just how wrong he had been. Molly had grown without him in her life. She didn't depend on him or on any man anymore. She didn't need to. But she had someone though who depended on her, and Charles hadn't really considered that. They were together, a couple, but the balance of power had shifted. He wasn't the one who led their relationship, their decisions; she was a strong woman who was happy to share her life with him, as an equal. Maybe before that was something they didn't have, and in this new relationship, it was fast becoming a reality to Charles that their relationship would only work if they did have it.

"What?" she had quietly asked him late into the night. "Did you think was going to happen to Tom….and bleeding Poppy….in your amazing plan?" Stating that her posted in Canada, she'd never see Tom. At least in Norway she'd be close enough for holidays and weekend returns. He had no right, she kept repeating. He'd used this rank and that out dated belief that he could just walk into her life and sort things out. It hadn't worked out too well last time she let that happen, and there's no bloody way she was going to let it happen again. And right there and then, she had shot down all hope of Charles ever feeling secure in their relationship, secure that Molly would never leave him because she needed him like before. That she needed him to protect her, like before, like she worshipped him before. It floored him when he accepted it, that was the Molly of the past, not who she was now.

Their last night was ruined. Neither giving either any leave to see it from the other's side. Charles thought she was being silly…..the wrong word to use about Molly in front of a pissed off Molly….. by the way. She thought he was controlling. He thought he'd found an answer to their distance, she thought he'd just planned her life. A life she pointed out several times she had worked bloody hard to get. And so with neither backing down, the night became the day. Tears dried up and tempers eased, but the lack of agreement on a way forward was still there. Both feeling hurt, used and frustrated at each other not accepting their view points. When Charles left the next morning very early, Molly merely accepted a peck from him and told him safe travels. No lingering, heart wrenching goodbye that our lovers should have undertaken when separating from one another all too soon.

All through the flight Charles prayed he hadn't screwed it up again. That she didn't decide that there was no them anymore because he had threatened her long and hard fought for independence. Something that was the core of our girl. She hadn't replied to any of his texts from the airport, hadn't answered his call. He was therefore desperate to turn his phone back on when he landed to see if she relented and had called while he was in the air. She hadn't. The disappointment was crushing. The long drive back to camp was desolate, feeling as though every mile he went closer to camp, he was driving away from the girl that he had found, and now had potentially lost all over again. Exhausted and sad when he arrived home he went straight to bed, the jet lag and emotions catching up with him.

"Shit…... Christ….. Yes….. James here" he sleepily said into his phone having dropped it then picked it up, scrambling to answer it in his sleep entrenched state. Trying to sound like the Major he was.

"Hello." Molly said meekly down the other end. "You ok?" Then with concern and after a thought she said. "Shit I woke you, didn't I?"

Charles felt like crying with relief. This was a good sign. She was calling him. His Molly had phoned him, "Yeah you did, but it doesn't matter. Christ I'm so pleased you called. I'm sorry Molly. That is all I can keep saying."

"It's alright, well it's not, but I kind of now see why you did it. Why you thought it was the right thing to do, I'm still mad though at ya. Still really mad."

"Mad you can be, furious even, but never stop talking to me Molly." With that he laughed at the irony of it.

"You can talk" she snorted remembering all those times years ago she had begged him to talk to her and he hadn't. "Look Charles. We need to sort this out, but you're tired. I'll call tomorrow… Night." And with that she went.

"I Love you." Charles said, again those three little words, but starting to doubt would they be enough to give them the lives they wanted with each other. "Talk tomorrow." And with that they hung up.

The following days were hard for both Molly and Charles. The pain of separation and the fact Molly had a decision to make. All on her own, what was best for her and her world. Her CO had strongly advised her the Norway posting would be better for her career, while a posting in Canada, with Charles, might be viewed by some unkindly, knowing strings had been pulled. This was not what Molly wanted. She been the source of Army gossip once before when Charles and Georgie's traitorous actions became known. It was awful, entering rooms full of colleagues that stopped talking when she entered.

The complication of Tom sorted itself out amazingly well. Without Molly or Charles having to interfere though. Tom now coming towards his last two years at school before GCSEs wanted to fully board. So no more coming home at weekends, just holidays. But where did that leave her and Charles? It seemed hopeless and each time they discussed it they become more emotional and more despondent a solution would be found. The separation from one another was starting to become unbearable.

So Molly, eventually, because she had to, made her decision. She chose for her. She chose for her life, her career. She chose for the strong independent woman she was. As hard as the decision was…she chose Norway.

Knowing it was the right decision but scared how to tell Charles, knowing she had to;

"I've decide to take the Norway posting." She told him on Skype one night, noticing the pain in his eyes at her words. "It's better for Tom, and it's something I really want to do, need to do. It's not that I don't love you, it just I have to do this for me… for Tom."

Charles tried hard to understand, and did to an extent, but he still had fears. He'd put the Army first so many times before in his relationships. Relationships that had always failed because of that. He'd never been in this position before, where he was the one playing second fiddle to the Army. He couldn't lose Molly again, so he had to support her. And so Molly moved to Norway, Tom moved into his boarding school full time, and Charles remained in Canada, just waiting until his time was up and he could leave the Army.

The weeks ticked by, every now and then they met up for weekends somewhere in Europe. Spending precious hours together. Always too short a time. It hurt. Hurt them both. It was awful saying good bye again and again, but they kept telling themselves, constantly reassuring themselves it was better than nothing. And maybe it was, but during those awful return journeys home after saying goodbye to one another it sometimes didn't feel like that to either of them.

Molly knew to an extent she was being stubborn. If she only had accepted the Canada posting then they would have been together, but she wanted Norway for her. She wanted to be Molly Dawes. It was, she sadly reflected, while she was being Molly Dawes she was missing out on being the other half of Molly and Charles. The other half of the thing that made her feel whole, complete.

This peaceful acceptance of their situation would have continued until Charles' discharge, but several events took over that, changed everything.

Several months into her posting she had been invited to present at a conference in Germany, with a ball afterwards. She was excited; as Charles was coming over join her, to watch his Molly and for a mini break in the city. Some desperately needed time together. As he watched her deliver her presentation he felt incredibly proud of what she achieved, and realised despite the heart break of their separation, this brilliant woman deserved to follow her own path in life. He just felt very lucky that she was still willing to let him come along with her for the ride, because one day it would get better.

The ball was fantastic. Molly loved being held in Charles' arms, being swirled around the dance floor. Their rhythm on the dance floor as in life now very much in sync. That was until Molly spotted someone, someone who she knew could upset it all.

"Oh shit" she said into Charles chest.

"What did I stand on your foot? He asked with genuine concern due to Molly's serious tone.

"No look, over there." Molly nodded with her head. She didn't know why she didn't expect it. The army was a small place, and after all she was a Medic. "It's Georgie."

And there she was Molly's former best mate, Elvis' fiancée, looking beautiful in her dress garnering attention from a good looking gentleman. Just like she always had been enjoying the attention, needing the attention.

"Lane." Was all Charles said, but stiffened, and Molly felt that had she not been in her arms he would have ran, ran in the opposite direction.

"What do you want to do?" She asked. This wasn't up to her. She needed reassurance about what Charles needed to do.

"Me…nothing…leave. You?"

"I don't know. I don't really want to talk to her. Don't think I can." Molly wasn't feeling angry, or hateful, she just felt finally where Lane was concerned….empty. Empty because of what had happened with Charles and her….empty because they all had lost Elvis in their lives…..empty because Molly didn't have time to waste on any other emotion when it came to Lane. "Can we just go?" Molly asked. She'd decided.

"Of course. " Charles said, still wanting to do anything in his power to keep Molly happy.

And so they went back to their hotel room, without incidence. No awkward or unpleasant meeting with a girl who had pointlessly interrupted their lives. The atmosphere strained between them.

"Hey." Charles said stroking face. "You ok?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be….oh yeah that's right, we just seen Lane." Molly whispered suddenly feel weary about it all.

"Come on." Charles said. "You need wine and a cuddle."

"No to the wine, but yes to the cuddle please." And that's just what they did, they spent the night wrapped in each other arms, talking, sharing, and making sure that the unfortunate reoccurrence of Georgie in their lives, however brief, would never ruin their love again. Molly realising that despite everything she was the lucky one as she had Charles, his warm body pressed up against her, they had a future and life together. She was the survivor, she was the victor. While poor Georgie had lost so much, her friends, her reputation, and Elvis. Molly had no doubt that she had started to rebuild her life just like Charles had done, but still Molly had what Georgie had wanted, and that every day must hurt her. Molly didn't want Georgie to hurt, but she also knew she would never want her friendship again. What she did know is that she would never put the Army before her and Charles again. This was the last selfish thing she would do. It was no longer just her and Tom anymore….just like before with Sam it was the three of them….they needed to be a family.

It was some months later when Molly's posting was coming to an end, that another event changed the course of Molly and Charles' life. His discharge date finally came through. Hesitantly Charles started to raise the subject and plans on living together, being a family. He was careful now a days always to discuss things with Molly, never making decisions without her. Molly surprised him, enthusiastic and in total agreement about his plans and idea. When that day finally came that they moved in with one another, after oh so long waiting out Charles nearly wept with happiness... a new life together, and new career to look forward to. He was so happy ..…that is he would have been happy if Molly hadn't been so unwell. At first they thought it was nerves, stress, something she ate. Instead of them celebrating their first night together in their home, Molly went to bed and slept. Something she had been doing more and more lately. She'd been feeling unwell for several weeks now, and both of them were becoming concerned that there was something wrong with Molly's health.

Charles was of course disappointed, he had plans for the first night under the roof of their new home. But his disappointment was masked in the concern that was building up inside of him about his Molly. He realised that, well or unwell he just needed to be near her, so decided on an early night himself. Composing himself as he climbed the stairs. Molly hated a fuss. He knew though she was worried about her general malaise, but had been trying to hide it from everyone, especially Tom.

As he got into the room he knew straight away that something was wrong. Molly was just laying their white as a sheet, silence.

"God Molly what wrong. Beautiful please talk to me. You OK?" he crouched down in front of her stroking her hair. She wasn't OK , noticing the bowl by the bedside which she had been unwell in.

"Charles" Was all she could say as she sat up before she burst out crying.

"Hey beautiful wants wrong? You're scaring me."

"I'm scared too Charles." She said between loud sobs. Then he saw it; the positive pregnancy test on the bedside cabinet.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, hope booming in his chest, frightenly loud. So loud he feared he'd be unable to hear her answer.

She bit her lip and just nodded.

"Oh shit Molly." he said and held her face in in hands. "That's so bloody wonderful." He cried with tears rolling down his face.

"Isn't it!" she cried. Her look of elation mirroring his. So thankful this was happening to her, to them. "Wonderful but bleeding scary." We're going to have a baby." Just saying the words out loud caused her world to spin on it's head like it has never done before.

They kissed delighted in the news. A new journey in life together. A new journey that would be filled with a lifetime worth of happy endings. Charles looked at his Molly, our girl, and knew the time was right.

Three little words.

Three little words he needed to say to her. Three little words that secured their future together again. That would complete them forever. That would tell all about their love for one another.

Three little words.

"Marry me Molly" he asked.

Three little words, she replied.

"Yes, I will."


End file.
